Covering Jodi

Arias holding out hope jury will spare her life

She says she felt 'betrayed' by guilty verdict

Michael Kiefer | The Arizona Republic

May 22, 2013

On the evening after Jodi Arias' fate went to the jury, she seemed to hold out hope her life would be spared.

In a joint jailhouse interview Tuesday with The Arizona Republic, 12 News and NBC's "Today" show, Arias said she doesn't know if the jury will come back with life or death.

"Whatever they come back with, I will have to deal with it," she said. "I have no other choice.

"I don't know about the ultimate decision, but my attorneys think it will be quick."

So quick that she had already had her belongings moved out of her cell at the Estrella Jail late Tuesday. And a Maricopa County Sheriff's Office spokeswoman said that Arias will likely be transported to the Arizona State Prison Complex-Perryville immediately after the verdict, whether it is for life or for death.

After nearly five months, the circus at Maricopa County Superior Court came to an end.

Arias, 32, was convicted May 8 of first-degree murder for the brutal 2008 slaying of Travis Alexander.

"It felt like a huge sense of unreality," Arias said about hearing the guilty verdict. "I felt betrayed, actually, by the jury. I was hoping they would see things for what they are. I felt really awful for my family and what they were thinking."

Last week, the jury quickly found that the murder was committed in an especially cruel manner, opening Arias to a possible death sentence.

And then, when a mitigation witness failed to testify, claiming intimidation, and the judge denied a mistrial, Arias' attorneys pulled the plug on the phase of the trial during which mitigating evidence is presented to try to convince the jury to spare the defendant's life.

The lawyers apparently want to take their chances in appeals court.

Arias addressed the jurors Tuesday morning.

She told them that after the conviction, she wanted to die, but had since changed her mind.

"I can't, in good conscience, ask you to sentence me to death because of them," she said, pointing to her family.

She told them that she wanted to teach Spanish and literacy skills from behind bars, market T-shirts to benefit abuse survivors and to donate her hair to charities for cancer survivors.

She showed her artwork to the jury.

Then her attorney asked jurors to sentence her to life in prison. The prosecutor asked them to sentence her to death.

The jury left the courtroom and stayed until about 4 p.m. Jurors are supposed to be back today to resume deliberation, and the feeling around the courthouse is that they will not take long to reach a decision.

Arias, who has always liked media attention, agreed to meet with several media outlets after court, in what may turn out to be the last night she can do so before being whisked away to prison.

Ironically, she has not seen the media storm her case has created. Some of the new women on the jail pod tell her about it, but she has no access to the Internet, no TV other than the Weather Channel, and her only news comes from The Republic.

She would have no way of knowing that just a simple tweet that The Republic was going to conduct an interview with her would unleash literally hundreds of angry responses of why anyone would talk to the woman who some characterize as the most hated person in America.

The public claims she never apologized for the murder; for shooting Alexander, her lover, in the head; for stabbing him nearly 30 times, for slitting his throat and then leaving him dead in the shower of his home.

"I certainly did," Arias said, on the witness stand and in her Tuesday allocution. "I don't know if I could ever adequately apologize. It's just a word. I caused a really huge loss and it caused a lot of pain and I have to live with that. I wish I could take all of that pain."

When she turned 30, she said, she thought about how Alexander was 30 when she killed him. During court Tuesday, prosecutor Juan Martinez reminded the jury of that.

"He's still, today, 30 years old, because of her," Martinez said.

When asked Tuesday night if she ever dreamed of Alexander, she said that shortly after her arrest, while she was still in jail in California, she dreamed that he was there with her, lounging in "the tank." When she asked him what he was doing there, he said, "We all have to do time for what we've done."

She doesn't understand why she didn't remove herself from her relationship with Alexander.

"I want to reach back in time and shake myself," she said. "I feel like there was this hook and I couldn't unhook myself."

She was mortified when the nude photos of her were displayed in court, maybe even more mortified when the prosecution played the videotapes of her police interrogations.

She can't imagine ever being in another relationship.

"I feel gross," she said. "I feel dirty. I don't want a relationship with anyone. I want therapy."

And if she were dead?

"I've completely effed up my life and I think I would be doing everyone a favor," she said.

But if the jury comes back with a death penalty, she said, "I would feel shell-shocked again."

Then she would pursue appeals, she said.

And she had an answer for those who think that the only justice for Travis Alexander would be for Jodi Arias to be put to death.

"That's not justice," she said. "That's revenge."


THE SAGA: A SORDID AFFAIR TURNS DEADLY

May 9, 2013

On June 9, 2008, a young woman named Mimi Hall became concerned that she hadn't heard from her friend, Travis Alexander. Alexander, 30, was wooing Hall, though she claimed she was not that interested in him. Nonetheless, they were supposed to go together to Cancun, Mexico, on a trip that Alexander had won through his work at a company that sold prepaid legal insurance.

Hall went to Alexander's Mesa home and rang the bell. Inside, Alexander's small dog barked wildly, but no one came to the door. She called friends and returned to the house with them, and one of them obtained the security code for Alexander's garage door. His car and bicycle were both there.

When they opened the door into the laundry room, they were hit with the smell of death, though none of them recognized it. They crept through the house and up the stairs toward the bedrooms and heard music coming from one of them. When they knocked at the door, one of Alexander's roommates opened it. He had a key to Alexander's locked bedroom.

The room inside was a horror: A semicircle of blood had soaked the carpet where the bedroom opened onto a hall toward the master bathroom. The floor and walls and sink were spattered with blood, and Alexander lay curled on the floor of the shower stall, his throat slit, a bullet in his head, and with nearly 30 stab wounds in his torso, his back, his hands and feet. He had been dead for five days already, and his body was streaked with the blacks and blues and greens of decomposition.

The friends told police that Alexander had a stalker named Jodi Arias.

Then police found Alexander's camera in the washing machine of the townhouse and were able to recover photographs: Alexander and Arias in various sexual poses.

Arias was arrested a month later at her grandparents' home in Northern California and charged with first-degree murder.

Over four months of trial in Maricopa County Superior Court in downtown Phoenix, her case dominated headlines and TV tabloids across the country, a tale of sex and violence viewed more as reality TV than reality.

The general public took it as a morality play, canonizing Alexander, and villainizing Arias as an evil seductress.

But the reality was more sordid: a mutually obsessive and jealous sexual relationship that played out in text messages and e-mails. The whole world viewed the grisly crime-scene photographs and the pornographic snapshots the lovers took of each other in the hours before the murder. And they listened to them talk dirty in a recorded telephone conversation that crescendoed with real or imagined orgasms.

Yet despite the battling, those same text messages, the journals, even the phone-sex recording, showed a deep affection between the lovers, which makes the sudden explosion on June 4, 2008, the day Alexander was killed, even more unfathomable.

Arias and Alexander had officially been girlfriend and boyfriend, first meeting at a conference in 2006, and Alexander brought Arias into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, baptizing her himself; that same day, he took her to bed and sodomized her for the first time, Arias said. They'd had angry splits and sexy reconciliations. They would tell people they had split, but would still meet for late-night trysts and take vacations together.

Nonetheless, Alexander told his friends that Arias was a stalker. But then again, he also led his friends and family to believe that he was still a virgin, though, over the course of the trial, it was revealed that he was juggling more than one girlfriend. In fact, in the days after his body was found, a woman called police to say she thought that her husband might have killed Alexander out of jealousy; that woman has since committed suicide, and her husband was sent to prison on unrelated matters.

About a month after the murder, Mesa police contacted Arias at her grandparents' home in Yreka, Calif., near the Oregon border.

At first she denied involvement and expressed shock.

Then, when police confronted her with the naked photos Alexander had taken of her the day he was killed, she made up a story about armed intruders who burst in on them, killed Alexander and threatened to kill her, too. She even repeated that for TV interviews, and boasted, "No jury will convict me: Mark my words."

Police also knew that shortly before the murder, someone stole a .25-caliber handgun from the home of Arias' grandparents. Alexander was shot with a .25 caliber bullet. The gun has never been found.

And then, Arias confessed.

Prosecutor pulls a surprise

Over the next 4 1/2 years, Arias went through several lawyers and for a brief period last year tried to represent herself. Two lawyers assigned to the case resigned, and her final team became two former public defenders on contract with the county: Kirk Nurmi and Jennifer Willmott. During the pretrial period, they battled with Deputy County Attorney Juan Martinez over what evidence came in and what stayed out. As late as November, they were still fighting over access to Alexander's computer.

Also during that time, the prosecution's story was that Arias first shot Alexander in the head, then stabbed him with a knife as he fought her off. Lastly, she slit his throat.

But in December, just days before they were to pick a jury, Martinez suddenly announced that Arias had in fact stabbed Alexander first, then slit his throat, and as he lay on the floor, dead or dying, shot him in the head to finish him off. Never mind that the probable cause to pursue the death penalty was based on the original theory.

"She killed him three times over," Martinez said. One of the stab wounds would have been fatal, the medical examiner opined, and possibly the gunshot wound as well. The slit throat would bring immediate unconsciousness and death within minutes, the examiner said.

Opening statements were Jan 2.

There were photos of the blood and gore, the spatter and stains, Alexander's lips curled away from his teeth in a macabre death grin, his head cut halfway off.

There, too, were the photographs of Arias posing nude on a bed with her newly dyed brown hair in pigtails; some of the photos of her private parts were as graphic as medical textbooks. In other photos, Alexander lounged naked on his bed.

The last three photos: a close-up of Alexander's face as he sat in the shower (that photo would later be blown up to show a vague silhouette of Arias holding a camera, but no gun or knife); a blurred photo of the ceiling as if the camera fired as it was dropped; and an accidental photograph showing Alexander bleeding on the floor of the hallway, his head and one arm slightly lifted, and Arias' leg and stockinged foot next to his head.

The three photographs had been taken within a span of one minute and 45 seconds.

Martinez rested his case in less than three weeks.

Arias took the stand during the first week of February — and stayed there until the middle of March, giving an unprecedented 18 days of testimony that raised the bar on the term "too much information."

She claimed that on several occasions, Alexander had struck her. She detailed their sex life, describing the role play and sodomy she claimed that she and Alexander would engage in, the sex toys they would use, the lubricants, the sex acts they would perform with candy. Some of those preferences were corroborated when the defense played the torrid phone-sex recording.

In February, the defense dropped a bomb when Arias claimed she had caught Alexander masturbating to a picture of a young boy. Martinez fought hard to discredit the allegation.

Arias also claimed she had intended to drive directly from California to Salt Lake City in June 2008 to see a man with whom she was considering a relationship, but that Alexander had persuaded her to detour to Mesa instead.

Martinez at one point prefaced a question with "When you drove down from Yreka to kill Mr. Alexander ..." Arias refused to answer it.

And when it came time to talk about the murder, Arias said that Alexander had tied her to the bed for sex, had bent her over the desk in anger and sodomized her. And then, while she was photographing him in the shower, she claimed Alexander became enraged when she dropped his camera and slammed her to the bathroom floor. She got out from under him, she said, ran to his walk-in closet to grab the gun she said he kept there. Then, when he charged at her, she said, the gun went off accidentally.

"I didn't mean to shoot," Arias said. "It went off."

The next thing she claimed to remember was driving near Hoover Dam with blood on her hands and throwing the gun into the desert before continuing to Salt Lake City where she pretended to act normal.

When it was Martinez's turn to cross-examine Arias, the two sparred for days, exchanging barbs. Martinez discounted everything in her story, including her inability to remember.

"Give me the factors," he shouted during one heated exchange. "I want to know about a specific circumstance. What factors influence you when you're having a memory problem?"

"Um, usually, when men like you are screaming at me or grilling me or someone like Travis is doing the same," Arias shot back.

But eventually, she broke down under Martinez's attacks.

While walking her through the crime-scene photos, Martinez asked her to put her finger on a spot where Alexander's body lay bloodied. She sobbed out loud.

"Ma'am, were you crying when you were shooting him?" he asked.

"I don't remember," Arias said, still crying.

"Were you crying when you were stabbing him?"

"I don't remember."

"How about when you cut his throat?"

"I don't know."

Jurors get their chance

The jury had more than 200 questions for Arias, many of which mirrored the prosecution's disbelief.

Willmott then called a psychologist to the stand to aver that Arias had post-traumatic stress disorder and that it was common for people in fight-or-flight situations to experience amnesia. She called an expert on domestic abuse to testify that Arias had been abused by Alexander. Martinez ridiculed them on the stand.

And so did the general public.

Because the trial played out in 24-hour coverage on cable TV, because it was streamed live and followed on social media, because it had to do with a handsome young couple, and because it concerned sex and lies and videotape and a dozen other media that hadn't yet been invented when that cliché was coined, it exploded onto the world.

People thousands of miles away became obsessed, siding overwhelmingly against Jodi Arias.

People traveled from across the country to stand in line early in the morning, hoping for one of a few dozen available seats in the courtroom.

They called up court officials, law enforcement and media reporters with theories and revelations they gleaned from the Internet or made up on their own.

They published the phone numbers and e-mail addresses of Arias' family.

They also went after the witnesses and the defense attorneys, phoning and e-mailing threats against their careers and even their lives.

Alyce LaViolette, an expert on domestic abuse, testified on Arias' behalf. Afterward, trial watchers posted her personal information on the Internet and through Twitter and Facebook.

More than a thousand angry people posted negative reviews of her best-selling books on Amazon.com and called organizations with which she had scheduled speaking engagements, urging that she be fired.

Willmott received death threats, including one in which a caller said, "You don't have to return my call, but I'm just telling you: If Jodi, if you get her off of the death penalty, we will find you, we know where you're at, we will kill you. I told Alyce the same thing, and we're tired, and we're sick and tired of you defending this person, and we will get you."

Juan Martinez emerged with an international following, even signing autographs for admirers who came from all over the country to watch him in action.

Among the Facebook posts are Photoshopped pictures of Martinez with angel wings or posed so that it looks as if he is standing next to Travis Alexander with an arm around his shoulder.

On the other hand, Nurmi's face was Photoshopped onto a whale, onto the body of a shirtless executioner standing next to Arias, who is laid out on an execution table, and even onto a crime-scene photo of Alexander lying dead in the shower.

Martinez's autograph-signing was just one of the reasons Nurmi cited in motions for mistrial. He also cited the change in the facts of the case, and an alleged attempt by a prosecution witness to contact a defense witness, and difficulties in getting Martinez to turn over evidence.

Three jurors were dismissed in the last weeks of the trial, one for talking out of turn, one for a lingering illness, and one for being charged with DUI and then telling police he was on the jury. It was hard not to imagine that each dismissal was strategic for one side or the other.

And Judge Sherry Stephens responded by holding countless hearings in chambers and sidebars at the bench, drowned out by a white-noise machine and sealed in the record to hide what was going on.

It seemed it would never end.

The last of the witnesses took the stand on May 1, in a hearing that began at 9 in the morning and didn't finish until 8:30 that evening, and the attorneys made their final closing arguments on May 3, four months and a day after the trial began.

On Wednesday, after fewer than three days of deliberation, the 12 jurors convicted Arias of first-degree murder.

The extreme life and dramatic death of Michael Marin

Michael Kiefer | The Arizona Republic

August 19, 2012

Michael Marin was on top of the world in May 2009.

He was standing on top of Mount Everest, a place only an elite group of climbers have ever reached.

Two and a half months later, he was in jail in Phoenix. His Biltmore Estates mansion had been gutted by fire, and Marin faced an arson charge that could lead to decades in prison.

The two extremes framed Marin's life.

He had traveled the world and lived in foreign countries, flown planes, traded in complex investments, charmed beautiful women, bought and created art. He could sing and play the piano like a professional musician. He doted on his children and had close friends all over the world.

In short, Marin seemed to have everything and to be capable of anything.

But there was a dark spot inside of him, an insecurity that few people saw. The drive and ego that pushed him to be an overachiever could also lead him into petty and destructive fights and a fixation on perceived slights.

He mounted a vigorous legal defense against a traffic citation. He spent two years fighting a paternity claim. In 2009, a few months after summiting Everest and after authorities smashed his plan to raffle off the house that had him deeply in debt, he took another defiant step: A jury believed he lit a fire that tore through the home on Biltmore Estates Drive.

But even that would not be his most dramatic act.

The blaze, which he denied setting, drew media attention not so much for its ritzy location but for Marin's unlikely escape. He told investigators he had awakened to find the house in flames, donned scuba gear stored in a bedroom closet, and escaped by breathing compressed air before making his way down a rope ladder.

Maybe he was telling the truth — or maybe he was just trying to stage a dramatic scene. He had a flair for appearing understated when he was being grandiose.

But instead, he became a comic figure — that guy who climbed out the window wearing scuba gear — and that is who he was to the jury that found him guilty of arson on June 28. He was to be taken into custody immediately after the hearing.

The verdict led to the final act of his life. As a live TV camera focused on his face, he slipped something into his mouth — an autopsy would reveal it was cyanide. Fifteen minutes later, he lay dead on the courtroom floor.

What Marin left behind helps define the highs and lows of a storybook life:

A stack of writings, unpublished or self-published, record an inner dialogue and an outsized biography.

A family of four grown children refuses to speak about him except to say that he was innocent. His friends and lovers say the same.

And if they were shocked by his suicide, they were not all surprised.

"He killed himself because he's Michael Marin," said his former attorney Richard Gierloff. "It's because he didn't set that fire. And if people misunderstand him so badly they thought he did this crime, then he's through with people."

"From Everest to jail is just him," said Marin's ex-wife, Tammy Gunderson. "He's not one who did things anywhere in the middle."

An adventurer's life

Michael Marin was born in December 1958 and was raised in Oak Harbor, Wash., a Navy town on Whidbey Island, north of Seattle. As a faithful member of the Mormon Church, he attended Brigham Young University and served a mission.

It took him to Japan, where he learned Japanese. After college, he attended Yale Law School, and after being admitted to the New York State Bar in 1987, instead of going into private practice or working in government, he went to work in the legal department of banks, which sent him back to Japan. From there he put his mathematical mind to work as an investment banker, and made a fortune trading in complex investments for Merrill Lynch, Salomon Brothers and Lehman Brothers.

He traveled extensively in Asia. A book he wrote about investment banking in Asia purports hair-raising adventures in Papua New Guinea, firefights in Cambodia, a trumped-up drug bust and torture by Malaysian police officers.

His kids were raised in Asia and in Chicago; his wife, Tammy, left him in 1992, after 12 years of marriage, and she moved to the Phoenix area. Then, in the late 1990s, after a decade of working the Asian market for Wall Street banks, Marin returned to the United States, eventually landing in Gilbert.

"He was very charming," said Christine Marie Katas, who dated Marin in 1999 and 2000 and entered into a business agreement with him.

"Michael definitely lived his life to the fullest," said Kristin Martin, who dated Marin in 2004. As for his personality, she said, "There's a level of arrogance when you're that smart."

He created artwork that showed his love of women, acrylic busts molded on women's bodies then draped in color or dressed in shells and coins.

He collected art as well; his mansion had paintings by LeRoy Nieman on the wall, and he bragged that his Picasso etchings were worth millions.

He had a walk-on role in Arizona Opera's production of "Aida" this spring.

Marin could be heroic: After his death, a woman wrote on his Facebook wall, recounting a visit to Yosemite's El Capitan, a destination for big-wall rock climbers: "I can still hear your calming voice talking me down the final rappel when I was injured, and I will never forget how you carried me up the steep path back to the road that day."

He climbed the highest peaks on six continents: McKinley in Alaska, Aconcagua in South America, Elbrus in Europe, Kilimanjaro in Africa, Kosciusko in Australia, Everest in Asia. When he went hiking he sometimes wore a jacket with the names of the summits on it and a check mark next to the ones he had climbed. All that remained unchecked was Vinson Massif in Antarctica, but he intended to take that peak next year.

There's a clip from a documentary film that shows Marin at his best before his life fell apart.

He's being interviewed at the Burning Man Festival in Nevada, an event he attended every year, dressed as a commercial pilot — which he wasn't — to give free rides in his Cessna to fellow festivalgoers.

Never mind what he's saying: His eyes are alive and flashing beneath the brim of his captain's cap, his smile gleams, his voice flows musically.

He waxed purple about mountaineering, once writing:

"I have dared to climb the highest mountains in the world, appalling pyramids of unforgiving snow, ice, and living rock, and set my feet on windswept heights known only to the courageous and the crazy, where views far too beautiful for mere words to express dazzle the senses and touch in the soul a paradise of peace and joy where the horrors of the half-lived life are unfamiliar. I have dared to profane with my presence high sacred places where the thin veil between here and now and the mystery of the great beyond is but a frozen whisper in a howling wind. Feeling excruciating fatigue, gasping for breath in the rarefied air, mindful of lost friends, and worried loved ones, I have experienced things you may never know, even in your wildest dreams, and while pushing myself beyond the boundaries of human endurance, facing mortal danger with every step, I have opened my eyes and beheld the face of God. I am awake."

An unreliable narrator

But there were other facets of Michael Marin's personality, and they led to his unraveling.

And for all his adventure and showmanship, Marin was an unreliable narrator of his own life.

He claimed his Picasso etchings were worth millions of dollars. But a girlfriend who was with Marin when he bought them in Las Vegas said he was sincerely moved by their beauty, but had paid only a few hundred thousand dollars for them.

He had photographs of himself in exotic destinations around the world, and stories of his trips that he had long told to friends, so his travels were mostly real.

But his self-published book "Fluctuations," which told of his adventures and close calls in Southeast Asia, also carried this note on the copyright page: "This book is a complicated hybrid of fact and fiction. Virtually all of the stories and incidents are true, but in many instances, names, places, and other details have been changed or fictionalized to protect the privacy, anonymity, and safety of the individuals to whom they refer."

He wrote "Fluctuations" after he left Asia and investment banking. Marin described the book's tone as humorous and ironic. It also is full of animus, and at times seems a rant.

In the book, he issues warnings to his former colleagues, boasting that he has firearms training and that if anyone tries to sue, he could unleash information that would reveal their mistresses or open them to criminal investigation.

In its first pages, he admits he will never work in banking again, given the bridges he burns over the rest of the book.

One former female friend said he could be a bully.

He could not let go of his defeats, however trivial, and instead lashed out self-destructively.

In 2000, Marin got a traffic citation in Gilbert for running his motorcycle into a car. He went over the handlebars and ended up in the hospital, and was issued a citation for failure to control a vehicle to avoid collision.

One might think that the rich man and world adventurer would pay the fine and go on with life. But Marin appealed, acting as his own attorney, and lost the case. He wrote a self-aggrandizing and condescending brief to the court, detailing the charity work he had done right before the accident, and his driving expertise for having attended a world-famous driving school.

He got a new trial — but only because the audio recording of his first trial was garbled. He lost the second trial as well, but he didn't let it go. In 2002, he self-published another book, this time about "moron drivers."

And one might think a man who doted on family would own up to fathering a child.

Marin lived with a woman for three months in 2003. In 2004, she filed a paternity suit, seeking support for her newborn daughter. Marin spent two years fighting her until a Maricopa County Superior Court judge ruled that he was indeed the child's father and needed to pay child support.

Finally he softened: He accepted the child as his own. He introduced her to his four children by his ex-wife, Tammy. He called every Sunday night at 7p.m.

Tragically, the child's mother died of natural causes just six days before Marin's death.

An unbelievable escape

How Marin ended up with a multimillion-dollar mansion in the Biltmore Estates is as fuzzy as everything else in his life story.

He bought the house in September 2008, after a friend and business partner lost it to foreclosure, and he paid for it through a complex series of transactions. It came with a monthly mortgage payment of $17,250 and an imminent $2.3million balloon payment.

The next spring, Marin devised a lottery to sell the house. He would sell 176,000 lottery tickets at $25 each. Then, in the end, the mortgage would be paid off, Marin would make a profit, and the rest would go to a worthy charity he had chosen, a crisis center for children.

Later, he would explain his plan to New Times reporter Paul Rubin: "I thought, 'Here's my chance. I'm gonna sell this house anyway and pay a real-estate agent $200,000 or $300,000. Why not sell it a little bit at a time with the raffle?' I wasn't going to make any money on the deal, just get out of it what I put into it and move along. If it went well, the center would have gotten maybe $500,000, so it sounded like a great thing, no downside."

In May 2009, Marin climbed Mount Everest. He thought publicity from the climb would aid in the sale of lottery tickets. He did live interviews with a local TV station while he was atop Everest.

But then state authorities determined that the lottery was illegal and shut it down.

The lottery drawing was supposed to be on July 4, 2009.

On July 5, Marin called 911 to report that his house was on fire and that he was going to escape using a rope ladder. He claimed he was asleep inside the house when he heard the smoke alarm. As he struggled through the thick smoke, he remembered that he had a scuba tank in his bedroom closet. He said he put on the tank and mask, climbed out a window and descended a rope ladder to escape.

Media responded to his incredible escape. That evening, he did interviews from his hospital bed.

Arson investigators — and the insurance company that held Marin's home-insurance policy — took a closer look. Marin's prized paintings were not in the house when it burned, nor was his pet macaw. They found boxes full of old telephone books stacked end to end, as if to fuel the fire. And they claimed the fire had been intentionally started in four separate spots in the home.

Prosecutors charged Marin with arson of an occupied structure, a crime with penalties as severe as second-degree murder — even though the "occupant" was Marin himself. He was arrested on Aug. 19, 2009, and spent 10 days in jail before being released on bond.

His former attorney, Richard Gierloff, claimed that the fire had started in an electrical box and that the boxes of phone books were in such a position because Marin was only moving in, and the newsprint in the books was to be used in Marin's decoupage artwork. Marin worked with resins, which could explain the open containers of acetone that the arson investigators suggested were accelerants.

But Marin was out of money. Prosecutors later showed that his bank account had dwindled from about $900,000 in 2008 to $42,700 just before the fire. His 401(k) had only $50 in it. And he was facing new legal expenses.

In September 2009, he sent an e-mail to his friends, asking if they could help him financially.

"Alternatively, perhaps you (or someone you know) might like to take advantage of my situation and purchase one or more of my remaining assets from me at rock-bottom, fire sale prices (if you will pardon the unfortunate metaphor)," he wrote. "How would you (...) like to buy a Picasso on the cheap? Or an airplane?"

"I've exhausted all of my other options. I am literally at the end of my rope."

He needed somewhere to live while awaiting trial, so Jana Bru, Marin's best friend of 12 years, former girlfriend and business partner, took him into her Chandler home.

By April 2011, he had to let Gierloff go and request a court-appointed attorney. At the end of the required financial statement, he penned a note explaining that he no longer had any assets.

A month later, in May 2011, he bought a canister of cyanide from a California mail-order chemical supplier for $93.77 including shipping.

That same month, two of Marin's friends were struck by a post on Facebook in which he asked something like, "What would you do if you only had a short time to live?"

Robert Morgan Fisher, a childhood friend of Marin's who had recently reconnected with him on Facebook, was alarmed by the post.

Recently when he went back to the site to look for it, he found it had been deleted. Fisher's own response was still there, asking if Marin was in bad health or if something else was going on.

Former girlfriend Kristin Martin saw it, too, and in hindsight she related it to something Marin had once said about his detention in Malaysia, as if he was saying he would never go to prison.

"He told me he would never be in a situation like that again," Martin said.

The inner man emerges

In December 2011, Marin contacted Fisher on Facebook to tell him he had written a play about his 10 days in jail after his arrest. Fisher is a writer and a singer-songwriter, and Marin wanted his opinion as to whether the play was any good.

The play's main character is named Michael Marin, and he is in jail after being falsely accused of burning down his house. The character Marin has climbed Mount Everest.

"I reached the summit a little over three months ago," he says. "It's been downhill ever since."

And one beat later: "I've wanted to say that ever since I got arrested."

The onstage Marin has the hallmarks of the real character's life of extremes. He's an intellectual. He's a karate expert — his cellmates pronounce him to be "hard-core, bad-ass." The script compares his character to the man from the television beer commercials: The Most Interesting Man in the World.

He talks about his time in Asia, his mountain conquests, his brushes with death, his artwork. But then the arrogant promo turns into heartfelt confessional. The tough-guy voice softens, and the inner Michael Marin emerges.

"I really don't know what things are like for most people, but for most of my life I've been terribly insecure," he says.

"I'd like to think that for all of my strengths and weaknesses, good points and bad points, successes and failures, I am fundamentally a good person, worthy of being loved and accepted just the way I am, simply because I'm a human being, but it seems like the only forms of love and acceptance I've ever experienced are highly conditional."

At the end of the play, the Marin character is beaten unconscious by sheriff's detention officers and, one presumes, left to die.

Outwardly upbeat

On May 20, Michael Marin made this post to Facebook:

"Three years ago today, I was on top of the world. Tomorrow my trial begins. ... One ceases to recognize the significance of mountain peaks if they are not viewed occasionally from the deepest valleys."

The opening arguments in Marin's arson trial were on the morning of May 21.

Deputy County Attorney Chris Rapp said, "Michael Marin couldn't pay his mortgage, so he burned down his house."

Marin's defense attorney, Lindsay Abramson, countered, "The state wants you to make a leap, that because he is eccentric, because he saved his own life wearing a scuba suit, that he committed arson."

Abramson pointed out that many of the prosecution's experts were paid for by the insurance company that covered the house.

At trial, forensic accountants detailed Marin's finances and arson investigators went through their findings. Marin did not testify.

To his friends, Marin seemed optimistic and controlled despite the pressure. He made Facebook posts with quotations by the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and Will Smith and others: "In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends." And "If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success."

He was outwardly upbeat.

Susie Spicer, Marin's last girlfriend, was with him during the trial. The two had met sometime in 2011, Spicer said, "synchronistically, on the top of Camelback Mountain."

"In the last weeks, Michael was very much at peace and very focused on actively working toward feeling happy despite his life circumstances," Spicer said in an e-mail. "He was very spiritual. He meditated daily and spent weekends mountain climbing and canyoneering."

Marin, however, fought with his court-appointed attorneys. He especially felt they didn't understand relevant fire science that would exonerate him.

In a note that his family and closest friends received after his death, ostensibly to relay his wishes for his burial, he said, "I wrote lengthy memoranda to help my lawyers, but it was like I was playing piano for ducks. They just didn't get it."

After his death, Marin's son Paul posted a message to one of Marin's Facebook friends, saying his father "felt the investigation was biased and flawed, that the prosecution was overzealous and unfair, and that his defense was grossly inadequate and the sentencing overly harsh. He prepared a document for us to release concerning his vision of how his defense should have gone. We (his kids) are unsure as to whether releasing this would just add fuel to the undesired raging media attention."

A man in despair

The verdict was reached on the morning of June 28. It was to be read at 1 p.m.

Marin messaged Spicer to pick him up, and they went to court in her car. He had already e-mailed someone in his family to let them know where his car could be found in the event things went bad.

The hearing began late. Marin sat at the defense table; Spicer sat behind him in the gallery. The jury entered; the clerk read the verdict.

Marin closed his eyes in despair when he heard the word "guilty" and that the jurors found it to be a dangerous crime, which meant he would not be eligible for parole and would be taken immediately into custody to await sentencing.

He rubbed his hands up his face, with one hand cupped, and as he brought them back down, it appeared as if he opened his mouth and swallowed something.

The jury left the courtroom, and Judge Bruce Cohen was talking to the attorneys about how they would argue the trial's next phase, when the jury would decide if Marin was eligible for a harsher-than-average prison sentence. Cohen would make the final decision: the usual, or "presumptive," sentence was 10½ years in prison, but Cohen could have given Marin up to 21 years.

About seven minutes had passed since the clerk read the verdict. Marin looked to Spicer and nodded. He mouthed the words "I love you," and she said the same back to him.

He reached out as his attorneys' paralegal offered him a box of tissues, then put his head down. Spicer heard him say, "I can't do this." He began shaking.

Suddenly Marin gasped like a man who had been holding his breath underwater and had finally breached the surface. He started to collapse forward, making a loud snoring noise as if his trachea were a balloon releasing air.

Abramson, his attorney, caught him as he buckled toward the floor. Nearly everyone in the courtroom froze, but Spicer rushed forward and she and Abramson laid Marin on his back and tore off his tie and opened his shirt collar.

The judge stayed on the bench, watching in shock. The prosecutor stared blankly. Marin's other attorney paced anxiously. Two dozen spectators sat numbly in the gallery, and a few laughed nervously.

Sheriff's deputies and even the fire captain who had investigated the arson attempted to administer first aid. When clear liquid began flowing from Marin's mouth, they turned him on his side to keep him from choking. Spicer laid Marin's cheek on her thigh and stroked his hair.

Paramedics arrived and started administering chest pressure. Minutes later, they wheeled Marin out of the courtroom on a stretcher. His cheeks were blue, and he was already dead.

 

 

From Speaking English

Ten

When I got back to the apartment, Sofi was sitting in the living room with the lights off, and I could tell she had been crying. I asked what was wrong.

                “It’s my brother,” she answered.

                “Humberto?”

                Junior was still in the Army and had been stationed in the Philippines, and I had no idea what he did there, because like a lot of career military guys, he didn’t ever really talk about it. I shuddered to think that something had happened to him, especially knowing how Sofi and her parents doted on him.

                “No.”

I let the word hang on the air for a moment, unsure exactly what to ask, because as far as I knew, Sofi only had one brother. I was mistaken.

                “My other brother, Guadalupe.”

                I still didn’t have words to say.

                “The one who ran away when we were kids. We were all so ashamed because we thought that he hated us so much that he left and never came back. So we never said much about him, even to ourselves. He’s been gone for more than ten years.”

                She took a deep breath. “Well, I found him.”

                “Where is he?” I asked.

                “He’s dead.” She sobbed as the words came out. But I stayed in the dark.

                “OK, Sofi, you’ve got to let me know what this is about. I’d like to help, but I’m so confused, I don’t know what to say.”

                “Just let me cry for a few more minutes, Ok Miggy?”

                I sat next to her and cradled her against my shoulder. She shuddered inconsolably as she wept into the sleeve of my sweatshirt. This was a deep secret, and it seemed as if these were tears that came from deep inside, as if they had waited to well up and be cried. I had known Sofi more than ten years and had never heard a thing about it.

                It took nearly an hour before she could speak, and the voice came from somewhere so low and far away that I almost didn’t recognize it.

                “Lupe was my baby brother. He was three years younger than me and he was my parents’ favorite. But I could live with that because he was a special boy. He wasn’t real tall and he wasn’t real good looking—none of us are, you know—but he was good at sports, especially baseball, and my father always thought he played well enough to get a college scholarship. We thought it would be him instead of me who would be the first person in the family to go to college. I think I probably only went myself because somebody had to pick up the responsibility.

                “He was good at school, too, and when he helped out at the restaurant, he would always charm the customers. He knew how to shake hands with the men and flirt with the ladies, especially the old ladies—God, they loved him. You know, he knew how to make a customer feel good even if the food didn’t come out just right.”

                What could I say? “He sounds wonderful,” is what came out, and as a heartless cynic, I wondered how much he had been aged and perfected with the passage of time. But Sofi was talking about a brother, and knowing how she felt about her family—her sister Tina, Junior, her parents, they could do no wrong. And not just them: She would slug anyone who said anything bad about me--I took her at her word.

                “So what happened?”

                “He fell in love.”

                I didn’t know where this was going and let her rest a few seconds until she could explain.

                “He had a girlfriend, and it worried my father. Oh, I don’t know if she was a bad girl or anything. I don’t think we ever even knew her last name, and if we did, I’ve forgotten it, and I couldn’t tell you where she is today.

                “But Lupe started cutting baseball practice to spend the afternoons with her, and no one would have known except that one day, the girl’s mother called my mother to say that Lupe and her daughter were having sex. She had found a receipt or an appointment card or something from Planned Parenthood, and when she asked the girl about it, she admitted that she had gone to get a pregnancy test because she was worried.”

“Was she pregnant?” I asked.

                “No. But Lupe was just 15, and my parents, as you know, are so traditional and so conservative, my father, especially. But forget for a moment how Catholic my parents are. It wasn’t that my father didn’t want Lupe to date, it was more like he didn’t want Lupe to be one of those teen parents in the neighborhood, kids who had to drop out of school to support a baby and a marriage that was doomed to fall apart by the time they were 20. He didn’t want Lupe to be one of those cholos bragging about his “baby mamas” and the children he had fathered here and there. I can’t blame him. He had other plans for Lupe.

                “But Lupe was in love, and when my father said he couldn’t ever see the girl again, he ran away. He didn’t go far the first time, just to my Uncle Tony’s house and my father went to pick him up the same night. And then the next day he ran to the girl’s house, but her mother wouldn’t let him stay there so he slept in the park. We found him there at about two in the morning.

                “He and my father fought about it for a few days, and then Lupe seemed to come to his senses, and he settled down. But my father started to leave the restaurant in the afternoon to go watch Lupe at ball practice, mostly to see if he actually went. And he did.

                “But then about a week later, when my mom went to his bedroom to wake him up in the morning, she found his bed stuffed with clothes and pillows to make it look like he was sleeping. But he was gone.

                “We looked everywhere: we went to the girl’s house and she said she hadn’t seen him. We called all the relatives, even in Mexico. And of course, we filed reports with the police, though they didn’t seem all that interested in looking for him when they heard the back story about him running away and having a forbidden girlfriend and all that. The girl never heard from him either, and that worried us the most.

                “We called other states, checked into accidents, asked if there were unidentified dead. He was gone. Just gone.” She shuddered a moment. “Gone. How can someone you saw every day of his life just suddenly be gone? Disappeared?”

                She coughed. “I always held on to this silly idea that one day he’d come home, all apologetic like the Prodigal Son in the Bible. And like in the Bible, I would sure forgive him. I thought maybe he’d have a kid of his own that he’d want us to see and know. And then he’d remember that we weren’t all that bad, and that maybe he was a little bit to blame, too, that he’d been a dumb kid with a girlfriend and an early taste of forbidden fruit. But he was dead the whole damn time.”

                Now she sobbed hard and had to get up to go to the bathroom to throw up. When she came back, she refused to sit on the couch, and instead paced the room with a tissue in one hand and the other clutching her shirt tail.

                “So yesterday, the ambulance brings this kid into the ER who was found nearly dead with his head caved in, in the basement of some abandoned building on the South Side. Kid couldn’t have been more than 13. But he had no identification, and the cops figured he was a homeless kid who had been living there. We checked his vitals, hooked him up to an IV, started fluids and antibiotics, and then basically just watched him die before we could ever get him into surgery.

                “I wanted to call his family, but there was no way. It really hurt me, Miggy, and I wasn’t sure why. Well, yeah, I knew why: Here was someone’s kid, someone’s brother, someone’s grandson. Someone must miss him somewhere. And I asked the cop who came with him what was going to happen to him now. ‘We’ll take him to the morgue and wait a few weeks to see if anyone claims him. And if not, then we’ll give him to the county and they’ll find a cemetery that will give them space to bury him.’

                “So I’m already getting shivers, you know, like there’s something uncomfortably familiar about all of this. Like this dead kid is telling me something, and I asked the cop if there would be some sort of record kept, in case people came looking for him after he was already in the pine box and buried and disposed of. And when he told me that they had file cabinets full of those records and photos of the dead down at the station and that they just kept getting fuller all the time, I knew what I had to do. I told my boss I was going home sick, and I made the cop take me downtown to see the files. I almost really did feel sick, worried about what I was going to find, and my stomach fluttered all the way there in the cop’s car. I think maybe I scared him by how pale I looked.

                “The station was a hole, one of those old, old buildings, and the ‘John Doe’ files filled three little rooms, cabinet after cabinet spilling thin manilla folders. They were arranged by date, and out of the blue I remembered that Lupe disappeared two or three days before my 18th birthday, so I started there. In fact, there was one with that exact date, but when I read the label on the outside, it said the person was ‘Mexican/Indian, age 25-35.’ I thought that couldn’t be Lupe, because he was only 15. But I opened the file anyway, and found a horrible photograph of a face. The man’s face had been badly swollen, and it didn’t look like my brother. But there was something about the eyes that caught me, and begged me almost not to close the file.

                “I looked at ten or twelve more files without finding anything. But I kept thinking I needed to go back to the first file. It still wasn’t Lupe. I read the text: same weight, more or less, same height as I imagined Lupe might have been. The body, according to the fact sheet, had a birthmark on the lower left leg—and I seemed to remember that Lupe had a birthmark on one leg or the other. But I wasn’t sure, and besides, it wasn’t his face. I had to go home.

                “So I stopped by my parents’ house and started pulling out photo albums looking for pictures of Lupe. I got three or four of the last we ever took of him, and I started feeling more and more sick to my stomach. Then, I saw the baby book my mother had saved for Lupe, and inside there was a baby foot print taken at birth. And better yet, a card with a thumb print that they’d had made at some promotion at school—you know, one of those programs to identify kids while they were teaching about “stranger danger’ or some shit, I don’t know. I went back to the police station this morning.

                “I went to the same file, and this time, instead of looking at the face on the photo, which was clearly swollen from whatever killed the guy, I compared the hairline and the eyebrows of the file photo with the ones I brought from my parents’ house. Yeah, it was looking more and more like him. I showed the cop the thumb print, and it took them a couple of hours to confirm that it was Lupe. My baby brother, and I’m looking at his swollen dead face. I don’t know how I kept it together.

                “So in the meantime, I got the cop to pull the incident report connected to the body. And damn it all, he got killed the same damn day he left home, and it was only a few damn blocks from his girlfriend’s house, so he was probably just sneaking out to see her. Some drunk veered off the street and into a bus stop, and just ran Lupe down from behind. He never knew what hit him. And no one even saw him. The first witnesses who ran to the crash found the driver passed out at the wheel. They woke him up and he bolted, ran clean away. Then when the tow truck pulled the car off the sidewalk and out of the bus stop, they found Lupe underneath. Who knows if they could have saved him if they knew he was there?

                “He didn’t have any ID on him, and they obviously never matched him to the missing person’s report my parents filed—maybe because they thought Lupe was older than he really was. Or maybe because he was just one more West Side Beaner and who cares anyway? They buried him somewhere on the South Side—I got the directions to the grave. But even if they didn’t bother to track down who he was, they sure as hell went after the guy who killed him. They arrested him that same night, took him to trial, convicted him of vehicular homicide and sent him to prison for 15 years. Whoopee, we put one more Mexican in prison—who gives a good damn about the other Mexican he killed?”

                Sofi stopped and took a few deep breaths as if to fight back her anger, her fear, her grief. I’m sure she couldn’t separate one from the other herself.

                “So here I am, not knowing what to feel: I’m relieved that my baby brother didn’t actually hate us so much that he ran away forever. But then again, he’s dead, isn’t he? And that feels like shit. And you know what gets me the most? The fact that they prosecuted the Mexican who ran him over, get one in jail, you know? But they couldn’t care enough to connect this poor dead kid with the people who adored him. And we did adore him.”

                I didn’t know what to say, but she had collapsed onto the sofa again, and I knew I had to hold her, had to be strong for this woman who was always so strong for me.

***

You live with someone for ten years and you think you know them. But how much do you really know? I wondered.

                It took me years to notice, for example, that when she was really delighted, Sofi smiled not only with her top teeth, but with her bottom teeth as well, which made her look as if the delight were stretching her entire face. It was beautiful.

                What else did I learn? I learned to love the feel of her ample body after we made love, while I was still trembling, with one leg straddled over her lower body, and my head on her breasts as if they were pillows. Those breasts:  I’m sure that Mexican women did not invent breasts, but they may well have perfected them. And isn’t that just the sort of piggish thing that a man would think? God forbid I should ever say something like that out loud, because it would be met with a punch in the stomach and a cry of ¡Cochino!  “you pig.” Still and all, that would not necessarily mean that the utterance was completely unappreciated.

                The things I learned: Yeah, well I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but Sofi liked it when I bit her lower lip while we made love; of course, it took me years to figure that out, too, and I have no idea how I did because I never would have wanted anyone to do that to me and she was certainly never going to ask me, either. One day I just knew she wanted me to, and from her reaction, it was as if she had always been waiting for that moment, too.

                It was a paradox. She was always so conservative, but she would surprise me with sudden brazen acts. Once she made me pull over to the side of the road while we were driving at night, and she practically raped me in the front seat of the car. Of course, we never mentioned the event again to each other, because it was understood that certain moments should be experienced and not explained. Likewise, there was a time we were jogging in Lincoln Park at dusk, and she suddenly pulled me off the trail and into the trees and kissed me like she might never see me again. To my astonishment, we made love standing up against a tree that shielded us from the view of the jogging trail. I’ve never forgotten the moment, though we never talked about that again either.

                Certainly, since Sofi came to rescue me in Peru, we spoke Spanish more and more frequently—not all day long, mind you, just when the emotion demanded it. When things were funny or tense or maddening, we shared it in Spanish. Business and everyday conversations could be conducted in English, but anything that demanded conspiracy or camaraderie was in Spanish.

                So not surprisingly, we usually made love in Spanish, which was kind of ironic, because it seemed that the things we did in bed didn’t have words in Spanish, at least none that I ever learned even when I asked her. But the pillow talk was somehow more intimate and more sheltered in Spanish.

                As the joke would have it, she should have been becoming more guera “by injection,” if you take my meaning. But the reality was that I was becoming more and more Mexican by absorption, and it showed in my voice, so much so, that when I spoke to strangers in Spanish they could never figure out where I came from. They knew I didn’t come from where they were from, they knew I had an accent, but they didn’t know what kind.

                From my gabacho face they’d assume I was Spanish, and when I said no, they’d ask if I were Argentine. When they finally asked, “Where are you from?”  I would answer, “From here,” but they wouldn’t have it.

                “What about your parents? Your father? Your mother?”

                “Same.”

                “Your grandparents?”

                Gueros, también.”

                And if they were smart-assed, they’d ask, “Y Sancho?”  because in Spanish, Sancho is the guy who’s screwing your wife or your girlfriend when you’re not around, sort of like the old American jokes about kids resembling the mailman or the milkman instead of their fathers.

                No, I would tell them, I’m puro guero, and when they told me I didn’t look like one, I’d say that was because everyone’s father or grandfather came from some other country and they just didn’t know what real gueros looked like anyway.

                But they’d keep speaking Spanish to me, even if they spoke fluent English. It was like being the member of a special club and speaking Spanish was the price of admission.

                The more I knew, the more the language fascinated me, especially the purely Mexican expressions. Mexicans from the northern Mexican states, for example, say “Mande” when they didn’t hear or understand what you just said. It’s not even a question. Instead of meaning “what?” it’s more like “give me an order,” and though I haven’t researched the origin of the word, I’ve always assumed it was a relic from colonial times, when the mestizos had to serve the Spaniards. Elsewhere, in other Spanish-speaking countries, you might say “¿Perdón?” whose meaning is obvious, or “¿Cómo?” which means “how?” There were other words for asking questions, not all of them well regarded:  for example, if a Mexican kid said the abrupt “¿Qué?” meaning “what?” to his mother, she just might smack him across the mouth for being so damn blunt and churlish. The problem with “mande” however, was that no other Spanish speakers used it, or even understood it. I remember once that when it popped automatically out of my mouth during a conversation with a Cuban, it derailed the conversation, and the Cuban switched right back to English, which he spoke badly.

                I was the Spanish teacher, remember, but I myself had an unwilling tutor. Speaking Spanish was one thing, but analyzing the crap out of it was quite unnecessary as far as Sofi was concerned. When I would ask her questions about pronunciation, for example, why the word for “I” sometimes came out of her mouth as “yo” and sometimes came out sounding like “Joe,” she would never understand what I was talking about, or why it mattered since she couldn’t hear the difference anyway. And then she would shrug off my attempts at finding a linguistic reason and tell me I thought too much.

                Even if she spoke to me in Spanish to show her love and affection, she would also address me in Spanish when she was really, really angry, because in addition to its facility for slipping into a more intimate gear, it also had some very effective built-in devices for pulling yourself away to a frigid distance. Instead of the familiar “,” I would be addressed with the formal “Ud.” As in “¡Que tenga Ud. buena noche!” “Have a good night, sir,” which of course, meant the exact opposite.

                “You’ve made sure I won’t have a good night, haven’t you?” I’d say.

                “I’m not responsible for how you feel,” she would snap back.

                Oh, but she was. And I would squirm and chafe all day long until I finally found some reason to get my arms around her and kiss her and then she would give in and everything would be all right again in my world.

                But she never, ever apologized. Oh sure, she would say “I’m sorry,” but that only infuriated me because she once admitted that she felt that Americans used the phrase so easily and so frequently that it didn’t mean anything and that when she used it, it meant that she wasn’t the least bit sorry at all, but was just saying it to end a fight.

                How do you say you’re sorry? “Perdóname” might be what you say when you fart or bump into someone, “Permítame” when you need to pass by. “Discúlpame,” means “forgive me,” but not necessarily in so drastic a context as it sounds in English. It could be only that I forgot to mail the letters this morning—Discúlpame-- or maybe so serious as that I’m sorry that I ran over your dog by accident.  Discúlpame, por favor.

                Then there is an even more vague phrase, “lo siento,” that literally means “I feel it,” but runs a range from “I’m sorry,” to “I feel bad,” to “I really, really feel bad and I’m on your side with this.” Context and intonation are everything, and the meaning expands and contracts magically to fill the sorry space. And that was what I needed at that moment. So I did know what to say after all.

                Lo siento, mi amor,” I said. I’m so very, very sorry.”

                And with that, I felt her body relax. “Te adoro,” she whispered, and then she fell asleep in my arms. And I sat there all night weeping for a young man I never knew and for a woman I thought I knew but didn’t. Even now I wonder if I ever will.

eleven

Sofi called her sister Tina in the morning and broke the news about finding Lupe, and the two of them decided to go together to tell their parents. So, late in the morning, Tina and Pauly came by the apartment. Tina and Sofi left in our car, and then Pauly told me that we had work to do.

                “We’re going to put a marker on Lupe’s grave,” he told me, matter-of-factly. “It’s not going to wait another day. The poor kid’s been lying there, all alone and unknown for too fucking long already.”

                As we got in the car, I asked Pauly if he even knew that Sofi and Tina had a brother named Lupe, and if Tina had ever told him.

                “Yeah, well, but she don’t talk about it much. The whole family is pretty much freaked out by it, always has been. I heard about it before me and Tina married, but that’s about it.”

                “Well, I never heard a thing about it,” I said. “You could have knocked me over with a feather when she told me. All these years we’re married, you’d think she’d say something about it.”

                “Yeah, well women are goofy,” Pauly responded. He gave me a dumb-shit sidelong glance and a snort as punctuation. “So how old are you now Mikey, and you haven’t figured that out yet?” He snorted again. “Check this out as an example of everything you need to know about women: Just the other day, me and Tina are in the kitchen cleaning up after lunch, and suddenly she’s standing there making this nasty snoring noise and holding her hands up to her throat.” The word came out sounding like “troat.”

                “I’m not any frickin’ rocket surgeon, but I figured out pretty fast that she was choking, so I go up behind her to do the hiney lip mover…”

                “Heimlich maneuver.”

                “Whatever. What the hell? So I put my arms around her from behind and squeeze her right under the tits, but nothin’ happens. She just keeps making sucking noises like a vacuum cleaner, and her eyes are all wild. So I did it again, grab her around the front, clasp my hands together and give it the one-two, like a backwards punch in the stomach, and whaddaya know, this piece of hard candy pops out her mouth into the window sill so hard I thought it might break the window.  I’m all like, whoa! dude!” He paused for dramatic effect. “So whaddaya think she does?”

                I waited, knowing he’d answer anyway.

                “She turns around and smacks me, right in the bread basket. ‘What the hell was that for?’ I says, and she goes, ‘You did it wrong.’ ‘What the hell do you mean I did it wrong? I says, You were choking, I did the hiney lip mover, the candy pops out your mouth. That’s what’s supposed to happen. How did I do it wrong?’

“‘You hurt me,’ she says. ‘It’s not supposed to hurt.’ And guess what? She’s pissed at me the whole damn day because of that.”

                Yeah, go figure, I thought, but I sat silently as Pauly pulled off the freeway into a neighborhood that I wouldn’t willingly go into with a police escort and in an armored car. But Pauly never seemed to notice those things—the bombed out buildings, the bums on the sidewalk, the graffiti—and so I squirmed and tried not to look as uncomfortable as I was.

                We wove up and down blocks until we found the cemetery, which was named Morbid Acres. But what we couldn’t find was a way in. So we circled the tall wrought iron fence for a half hour, having to cut around blocks where the cemetery did not abut the road. And when we finally found the main gate, and got out of the car to push on it, it was locked tight with a big old chain and a padlock.

                I’d never heard of a cemetery being locked before this, but given the neighborhood and how old and overgrown the graveyard looked, there was a good chance that it had been full so long that anyone who remembered the people buried there was probably dead too. A sign on the gate listed a phone number for visitors, but the last two numbers were scratched out—and this was in the day before cell phones anyway, so we had two choices. My preference was to go home and think of something else. Pauly was in favor of plan B.

                “All right, as always, we’re going to have to do this the hard way,” he said.

                Then he yanked open the back door of his car and pulled out a three-foot tall wooden cross, stained a light wood color, with the bottom sharpened into a stake from the back seat. As homemade artwork, it wasn’t half bad. He’d used a wood burner to free-hand engrave the name, “Guadalupe Delgadillo” and the date he died. Then underneath he had burned the words, “Lupe, lost and found. We never forgot you, bro.”  Even if the epitaph was unconventional, the marker had soul, and you could see that Pauly had put his blue-collar neighborhood heart into it.

                Then Pauly took a big sledge hammer out of the car, and hoisted it with a ceremonial flourish. I followed him to the fence and watched him look up and down and study its height.

                “You’re kidding,” I said, when I realized he planned for us to climb over the fence.

                “You see any other way?” he answered.

                The fence was easily nine feet high, with points on the end of each of its Gothic iron bars. Pauly slipped the cross and the hammer between the bars, then cupped his hands together as a step for me, looked up at me and said, “Let’s go, Mikey.” I stepped up as he lifted my foot and I managed to grab the top rail of the fence with his push, struggled to get one foot on it, then the other, and delicately maneuvered the family jewels over the points on top.  Then I did the same for Pauly, putting my arms through the rails so that he could step on my hands and hoist himself over.

                Given the neighborhood, I should have felt that we were safer on the inside of the fence than we were on the outside (and I was pleased that as long as we had to leave a car there unprotected, that it should be Pauly’s car and not mine). But now I worried about being somewhere we weren’t supposed to be, and besides, we had to find an unmarked grave in an overgrown graveyard that spread over several acres. We started walking across and between plots until we found a road. Pauly put down the cross and the hammer for a moment to pull a piece of paper out of his pocket. In his clipped handwriting he had scribbled, “plot 324west, 18north-a,” the number that Sofi gave him, whatever that meant. We wandered among the stones until we realized that there were numbered markers on the roadside and at the far end of each row. We were at 90 east, and we could see that if we went straight, the numbers dropped and then started up again with “west” designations. Ok, now.

                Then we heard a voice. “Hey, you guys! What are you doing?” It was a fat, middle-aged black man waving his arms at us from across the lawns. He was running in our direction.

                “Ignore him,” Pauly said. But in a minute, the man was upon us, huffing like a tenement radiator in January. Apparently he’d never run so far or so fast in his fat life.

                “You can’t be here,” he said.

                “Says who?” Pauly shot back. “Obviously we are here. Did you think you were just dreaming about us?”

                “Says me. I’m the caretaker here.”

                “Caretaker? Nobody’s ever taken any care of this place, from the look of it.” He paused for effect. “Oh wait, I get it, it’s like a job with the city, where you don’t actually have to do any work, right? Nice work if you can get it.”

                “I don’t need no bullshit from you buddy, you got to leave.”

                “Can’t you go cut the grass or something?” Pauly snapped back. “Oooh, never mind, from the look of you, you don’t even take care of yourself, let alone take care of this place.”

                “I don’t appreciate that mister, but you’ve got one minute to get off this property, because I’ve already called the police.”

                Pauly didn’t even look around. “Look, we’re busy,” he said. Then he kept following the numbers. “We’ll leave just as soon as we find our brother-in-law and take care of a little business,” he said. I felt like an innocent bystander. Maybe not all that innocent.

                “Aren’t you listening to anything I’m saying?” the man asked.

                “As a matter of fact, I’m not, and I can’t work while you’re hoovering over me.”

                “That’s ‘hovering,’” I said.

                “Mikey, don’t correct me right now. I’ve got a sharp stick and a big fucking hammer in my hands. I can’t be held responsible.”

                “Is that a threat?” the caretaker sputtered.

                Pauly stopped for a second and turned. His voice took on fire.

                “Now that I think of it, yeah. Yeah, it’s a threat,” he said. “So how come you’re still bothering me?”

                “Gonna be the police bothering you in a minute,” he said. “I already called them.”

                “Good for you,” Pauly said without seeming to care. The caretaker followed behind as we paced down the numbers: 300 west, 310, 320, 324, then turned north. Whereas most of the cemetery had standard headstones on the graves, or old-style plaques mounted on iron stakes, this area, obviously a potter’s field, just had simple iron plaques laid right on the ground. The grass had grown over many of them and the letters of the names and descriptions were clogged with dirt, so we got down on hands and knees and scrubbed the metal with our shirt sleeves.  After a few minutes, I found it: at least I found a plaque that read “Unknown male, Rest in Peace.” The date matched Lupe’s death.  We both stared for a bit. Pauly took the cross and pounded it into the ground over the grave. Then Pauly shocked me.

                “Let’s pray, Mikey,” he said. I’d never imagined Pauly praying, let alone seen him do it, but he grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

                “Jesus,” he started. To be honest, it sounded like he was taking the Lord’s name in vain by the way he pronounced it.

“Jesus, you know I’m not too good at this, but this is our brother in law, Lupe, who didn’t deserve to die that way and didn’t deserve to be buried this way.

                “But we’re going to make it right, Lord, as God is above us. We’re going to give this boy a proper burial with a mass and all that crap. Sorry, Lord, I shouldn’t say crap. We’re here for him now, Amen.”

                “Amen,” I echoed.

                “Oh shit,” Pauly said. I saw what he was looking at. One of Chicago’s finest was halfway to us from the gate, hand on holster as if he were expecting to make a big bust. Pauly turned back to the grave and stood with his hands folded. When the cop reached us, he called out, “What’s going on here?”

                Pauly didn’t even turn around.

                “Who are you?” he asked. “The fucking Prince of the City?”

                “Look,” I said. “Um Officer… what’s your name?”

                “Farkus.”

                “Yeah, Officer Farkus. This here is our brother in law buried here. He was lost for 10 years, and my wife found out where he was buried, so we came to put a marker on his grave until we have a chance to get him reburied.”

                “They threatened me,” said the fat caretaker, “and they ain’t allowed to be here. This here is trespass, don’t you know?”

                “That so?” the cop asked.

                “No, not exactly,” I said.

                “All right you guys,” the cop said, “get this stick out of the ground and get the fuck out of here before I run you in.”

                “No,” Pauly said. “The cross stays. It’s only right. Why do you have to be an asshole?”

                “Who you calling an asshole?”

                “Do you see any other assholes here?”

                “I see a couple of them, and they’re soon-to-be arrested assholes.”

                “You know,” Pauly started slowly. “I’ve never been stupid enough to hit a police officer, but in this case it might be fun, and I know for sure that I can beat the shit out of your fat ass.”

                With that, Officer Farkus pulled his gun.

                “Go ahead and put a couple of warning shots in my back,” Pauly said. “We were just leaving anyway.”

                We started the long walk toward the cemetery gate, which was now open. I didn’t like having a drawn gun behind me, obviously—unlike Pauly, I knew full well what a bullet felt like. But we kept walking.  And we almost got to the sidewalk before two more squad cars pulled up, spilling out four more police officers. I looked back to the grave just in time to see Officer Farkus pull the cross out of the ground and head in our direction.

                We were under arrest: handcuffed behind our backs, pushed into the back of one of the squad cars. As the car pulled away, I turned to Pauly.

                “That prayer was fucking beautiful,” I said.

***

We couldn’t call Sofi or Tina because they were with their parents—that was what we told ourselves; the truth is that we were ashamed--and so I used my one phone call to call Rudy. He was startled when I told him what happened, but promised to come get us as soon as he finished rodding a toilet for some tenants on the second floor. There was too much information on the way…

                “I keep telling them not to flush rubbers inna crapper,” he said. “This the fourth time. I tell the guy to throw them inna garbage can or keep his little dick in his pants, ‘cause I don’ wanna come back no more to fix the toilet.”

                As I pondered the poetry of that thought, Officer Farkus wrote us out citations for criminal trespass and vandalism, and he argued with his sergeant about whether he could charge us with aggravated assault on a police officer, a major felony, because Pauly called him an asshole and said he could beat him up, but the sergeant took him to task.

                “Farkus, you jackass, he shouted, “You want to send these guys to prison for carrying a cross around a South Side cemetery? You think a judge and jury are going to put up with that? I’ve got half a mind to kick your ass myself.”

                Nonetheless, as a testament to how dangerous we were, we were left handcuffed to chairs in the squad room until Rudy could come and get us. Pauly was so angry that he couldn’t even talk. There was a definite “Alice’s Restaurant” feel to the whole thing. Or maybe it was more like an afternoon in the principal’s office in junior high. I could almost hear the scolding: “You know that this may be a mark on your permanent record.” But mostly, I was too struck by the absurdity to think, so I watched the shadows lengthen through the windows and then dozed in the chair for what must have been at least an hour.

                I heard Rudy before I saw him, though I couldn’t make out everything he was saying. He seemed very animated—not that that was peculiar—and his voice came and went as if he’d gone outside and come back in.

                “I’m alla time tell those guys to behave,” he was saying in a loud voice. “I’m sorry but I try to keep them under control and I promise they won’t cause no more trouble,” he was saying.

                What the hell? Whose side was he on? When he came into view he had the cross and the big hammer, and when he saw us, he pantomimed a big mug of exasperation when he saw us handcuffed to our chairs in the squad room.    “Look at you guys!” he shouted accusingly. “I’m talk to nice Officer Fuck-us here and he say he gonna let me take you home if you say you don’t cause no more mess.”

                Farkus seemed to wince at Rudy’s pronunciation of his name, but he didn’t say anything, perhaps assuming it was part of Rudy’s thick accent. I myself wasn’t sure.

                “So, ok, you tell Officer Fuck-us that you sorry and let’s go.”

                We signed some papers and shuffled out to Rudy’s big old car in the parking lot. Pauly sullenly got into the back seat without saying anything. I rode shotgun. Rudy fired up the old machine, and when it stopped whining, he let it lurch into gear.

                “Looky there,” he said pointing out one of the squads. “That there is that nice Officer Fuck-us car. I know this ‘cause he let me get you stuff out of it.” Then as a seeming side thought, he suddenly said, “You know what, little brother? I’m think I got a low tire on you side,” and he braked the car hard so that it stopped right next to Farkus’ vehicle. Then Rudy rooted around in the glove compartment until he found a tire gauge. He left the car running when he got out of the car on the driver’s side.

                I had my window open and watched as Rudy bent down to check the air in his front passenger-side tire. Simultaneously, surreptitiously, he reached in his other pocket and took out the three-inch switchblade that he always carried, popped it open and sunk it into the front driver’s side tire of Farkus’ car. I could hear the whoosh as the air rushed out through the gash. Rudy got back in the car.

                “My tire fine,” he announced happily. “But that tire on Fuck-us car look low. Somebody oughta tell him. Too bad, we gotta go now.”

                Rudy drove us back to the cemetery where Pauly’s car was hopefully still parked.

                “You know what, my little brother?” he said. “This a gift from God.” At first I thought he meant him bailing us out, but then he continued. “Inna war, people alla time disappear. My mother: Where she at? My cousins? Where they at? I cry at night ‘cause I’m never gonna know these things. Maybe they got bury, maybe not. God, he come to you wife, and he tell her, Mischa, he tell her where her brother is at, and that, my little brother is a gift. You gotta know it.”

                We reached Pauly’s car at the cemetery, just as it was getting dark, and Pauly and I started wearily toward it when Rudy suddenly asked, “Where you think you go, you guys? We got work to do.”

He was rooting in the trunk of his car, his rolling tool shop, tossing aside shovels and hammers and tool boxes and took out a long pair of bolt cutters. Then he walked directly to the front gate of the cemetery and quickly snipped the chain that held it shut. He threw the bolt cutters back into the car trunk and then took the cross and the hammer from the back seat.

                “OK, show me where to go,” he said.

                We pulled the gate open far enough to slip through, closed it quietly behind us and walked back to Lupe’s grave in the dark. Rudy looked a moment, then, as if he were performing any other daily task, he set the point of the stake on the ground and quickly pounded it in with a three deft stokes of the hammer. He closed his eyes and put a hand to his forehead and muttered something in Magyar—a prayer, I could only imagine. And when I saw a tear streak down his cheek, I started to cry myself, and to my surprise, when I looked over to Pauly, he was wiping away tears, too. There was nothing else to say, so we solemnly walked back to our cars, slipped out of the gate and shook hands with Rudy.

                “Mischa-batchi?” he said.

                “Yes Rudy?”

                “You cut the grass tomorrow for me?”

                “Of course.”

                Pauly drove us to Sofi’s and Tina’s family’s main restaurant. The old man was behind the counter, looking pale. I figured he went to work to keep from thinking about what he had learned that day. He was surprised to see us, grunted a greeting and shook our hands.

                “We took care of it,” Pauly said.

                Then he smiled for a quick moment and hugged us both, slapping us roundly on the backs. He brought us beers and bowls of menudo, which we ate without speaking, and then we just we went home. Sofi was already asleep when I got there, so I slipped into bed and put my arms around her and fell into an uncomfortable sleep.

twelve

I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly things happened in the next few weeks. Rudy’s shyster lawyer uncle got Pauly’s and my criminal charges dropped, free of charge. And of course, Rudy, the ultimate handyman, the quintessential neighborhood guy, had a cousin who owned a funeral parlor and had his gravediggers exhume Lupe’s casket, also free of charge, though I expect it got tacked onto the bill of some other poor grieving customer.

                Sofi’s father purchased a plot in a West Side cemetery and the family gathered for a small mass to be said in Lupe’s name at the church where Sofi grew up. Rudy was there, with his wife, Nadia, as were a handful of Sofi’s aunts and uncles and cousins and close friends of the family. But the whole idea was to keep it small and intimate, and other than the immediate family, who really cared anyway? As I listened to the priest pray in Spanish, I compared the words and the cadence with the sermons and recitations of my Sunday school past—I had not spent much time in church in the last decade. I wondered if I should be there more, or just let my soul lay where it was, stuck between cultures and between the hell I dreamed at night and the paradise I felt in Sofi’s arms before I fell asleep.

                Sofi seemed tranquil, almost happy, a welcome contrast to the tenseness and shock of the days after she found Lupe. After the priest had finished, Sofi’s father stood up to eulogize his lost son: He talked about his ball playing, his good heart, the love that cost him his life, and about his own hopes that God would forgive him for being a harsh disciplinarian when after all, the worst sin his son had committed was to fall in love. I wept, like I always weep at funerals, lost in the old man’s grief. I cry at weddings, too, and even if I try to read aloud something that is very beautiful. I had to memorize the Robert Frost poem, “Stopping by woods on a snowy evening” when I was eight years old, but every time I recite it, my voice cracks and my eyes water by the time I get to the last lines, “The woods are lovely, dark, and deep/ But I have promises to keep/ And miles to go before I sleep/ And miles to go before I sleep.” The lines were running through my head at that very moment. “And miles to go before I sleep.” Nothing brings those words home more than the untimely death of a young man.

                We met the body at the cemetery—the remains had been sealed into a new casket, and we prayed again as it was lowered into the ground at the Catholic cemetery.

                Afterward, we all reunited at Sofi’s parents’ favorite Mexican restaurant down in the Pilsen neighborhood on the near South Side. Even though we had reservations, there was a short wait. The hostess fretted over Sofi’s parents, knowing full well that her father owned the number of restaurants he did, and she promised that we would have the very next table that came available.

                Pauly fidgeted and tried to flag down a waitress to get a margarita. Behind us was a gaggle of fat white folks, three couples, it seemed. And when I say they were fat, I say it because it was pathological. They were all fat, not just one or two of them, and I suspected that they were related—or else belonged to some perverse club with a name like Overeaters Anonymous.

                Pauly got his margarita and winced as he took the first gulp, though I don’t know if it was because of the strength of its tequila, or because of the inane patter of the fattest lady, as she rambled on about all the people she disliked.

                The hostess came up to us and told us that our table was ready, but as my mother- and father-in-law started to follow her, the loud fat lady pushed in front of them.

                “I’m sorry, but we’ve been waiting longer. That’s OUR table,” she said crossly as she grabbed the menus out of the hostess’ hands. Then they rushed to the cleared table.

                My mother-in-law, who would never in her life have thought to touch another person in a public setting the way she had just been jostled, had a frozen look of horror on her face after being pushed so rudely.

                “Don’t ever get between a fat lady and her lunch,” Pauly quipped.

                My father-in-law suggested we all go someplace else. The hostess was mortified and apologized profusely for the rudeness of the gueros gordos.

                “Look, look, we can wait,” I said, trying to be conciliatory. I turned to Sofi. “I’ll be damned if we’ll act like those people.” She squeezed my hand in response, then calmed her parents. Pauly sipped his margarita.

                And within minutes, the hostess had recruited a couple of waiters to set up a table for us by the window. We settled in and ordered drinks. Sofi’s mother was still mortified; her father seemed pacified. Rudy was smiling broadly and was already studying the menu and asking questions about the food, and Pauly was ordering a second margarita. Then I noticed the mariachi band.

                There were four of them: two guitarists, a bass player, a trumpeter, dressed in their elaborate costumes with the big sombreros and all the metal buttons. I flagged them over.

                Alguna canción para Uds., amigos?” the leader asked. “A nice song for you, my friends?”

                Not for us, I explained. But here’s five dollars, I said in Spanish. See that table over there? I want you to go over there and play the most offensive, nasty and mean-spirited song you know. Can you do that?

                A la órden,” he answered with a hint of a smile on his face. “At your service.”  Seconds later he was tableside with the piggies and his conjunto launched into a filthy song about a Venezuelan beauty queen who fucked her way to the top. All the Spanish speakers in the restaurant turned to look, their mouths open with surprise that turned to smiles. The piggies had no idea. They clapped happily along with the cheerful music without realizing what was being sung. Tables of people began laughing. Sofi kicked me under the table, but I was smiling broader than anyone.

***

After lunch, we took Simon, the dog, down to the lake. Sofi held my hand all during the half-hour walk there. She was quiet, but she seemed at peace with herself and at peace with me. I still had a bit of a lazy-afternoon margarita buzz going, and I assume that she did too.

                Lake Michigan sparkled playfully just beyond Lake Shore Drive. Even today, every time I see it, I’m struck by its vastness. It rolls and heaves like an ocean at times, then lies quiet and foreboding at other times. But Chicagoans have always used it as a bearing. The lake is east, always east, and if you know where the lake is and can read the numbers on the street signs, 2400 north, 600 west, you know exactly where you are.

                I loved the lake. I was one of the few and the crazy who visited it in the winter, too. Even if it was deadly cold, the water only froze 20 to 30 feet offshore and coated the pilings with ice so that they looked like igloos. To fall through that ice would mean quick death. But the water was frigid even in the summer, too cold to swim until late August, then after a few weeks when the nights turned crisp again, the temperature would drop too low for a body to stand.

                I’d seen the lifeguards pull kids from between the rocks and then pump on their chests and breathe into their mouths to bring them magically back to life. Once I experienced a mini seiche, which is like a tidal wave; I was standing dry-footed on a piling about a foot above the waterline. An instant later, without seeing anything change, I was suddenly standing in water up to my shins.

                On the day of Lupe’s mass, it was late August. I still carry an image in mind from about a year later, the next August, when Sofi was very, very pregnant with our first son. We’d had a sweltering heat wave and had fled to the lake to cool down. She wore one of those old-fashioned pregnant-lady bathing suits with a flap of fabric to cover the belly, and I remember she was treading water on a blue-sky perfect Saturday afternoon, hanging on to a piling so that only her head poked above the water, with that big lovely belly floating like a beach ball just beneath the surface of the water. I’ll carry that memory to the grave with me. So the lake was the perfect place to go that afternoon, and Simon the perfect distraction from the day’s drama.

                As always, Simon carried his own ball, excited about what was to come. I’d taught him to swim when he was a pup. Dogs don’t really swim instinctively: they thrash and paw at the water with their heads straight up and their hind legs straight down and have to be taught how to move on a level keel. When he was real little, I would take Simon down to the harbor where there was a shallow little back water and entice him with a stick, holding it in front of him over the water. He would go after it, but I’d always keep it just out of reach until he was in over his head and didn’t even realize he was swimming.

                He was a natural retriever, ball-obsessed like most Labs, and when he had grown a little larger, I took him to the beach at Fullerton Avenue and tossed the ball into the shallows. He’d jump through the waves to get it, then surf back to shore, shake vigorously, scattering a rainbow of drops, and then charge back to where I stood ready to throw it again, leaving a wake of sand flying behind him.

                I first let him swim in the deep water off the rocks at Diversey Harbor on a warm day in March, and he didn’t care how ghastly cold the water was, then or since. I threw the tennis ball about 15 feet out, and he launched like an athlete, leaping fearlessly and headlong to a mighty splash and swam out to the ball. Unfortunately for me, when he got to the ball and grabbed it in his teeth, instead of turning around and swimming back toward the rocks, he kept swimming straight out to sea, headed toward the state of Michigan, if he could make the 60 or so miles to the other shore. I called him several times, but he was on a mission, and I had no choice but to jump into the frigid snowmelt water and swim after him—much to the amusement of the people watching from shore. I’m surprised I didn’t have a heart attack from the temperature drop, but I was younger then, and I loved that dog. I did not much love the laughs of the sunbathers as I sat shivering and gasping for breath, trying to dry out in the sun after Simon and I climbed back onto the rocks.

                But Simon learned from his mistakes, even if I never did. And as he got better at retrieving from the deep water, he’d leap into four-foot seas, then effortlessly glide back and pull himself up out of the water to return the ball at my feet. It was so beautiful to watch that he often drew a crowd. And there was something very relaxing about the thoughtless rhythm of throwing and watching him jump and swim and throwing and watching him jump and swim.

                Sofi and I spent an hour at least that day, hardly talking, but enjoying each others’ company and drawing energy from the dog’s pure joy at doing what he was bred to do. He launched himself joyously into the water over and over, and we laughed as hard as we needed to laugh. Then, because neither of us wanted to go home, we started to walk up the lakefront while the sun dropped lower and lower in the sky. It was a perfect evening, up until that point. Other strollers passed by, apparently in the same mood as us.

                But the crowds thinned up by Belmont Harbor where the sailboats tie up to the docks, and our bliss overshadowed the city street smarts that tell you that when it’s too calm and too quiet and too lonely, things can quickly get too scary. Sofi pulled me along down the steps to the piers so that we could walk among the yachts and fantasize about taking one out to sea.  I didn’t even hear the kid sneak up on us.

                “Whassup?” he said. We both turned and there he was, looking like the dictionary definition of “punk ass.” Why kids wore ski caps in the summertime, I’ve never understood. His was pulled low. His pants hung halfway down his ass, and his shoelaces were untied—which also made no sense to me, because if you’re going around jacking people, as he was, you’d think you’d want to be ready to run away in a gangbang second. I imagine that would be pretty hard to do in untied loose shoes and with your pants hanging down around your knees, but I’m just an old guy and what the hell do I know? And he had asked me a question.

                “Excuse me?” I asked.

                He pulled out a little gun and pointed it at us. “No, excuse me, mister. I want your money.”

                Another little man with a gun; I marveled for a moment at how tiny the gun was, and then got that sinking feeling that things were starting over again for me, but I did take the $15 or $20 I had in my front pants pocket and handed it to him. He turned to Sofi and said, “Now you.”

                Mande?” she said. The kid looked to be Mexican, but he didn’t seem to understand Spanish, and she was pretending not to understand English. Simon clearly didn’t understand anything except that he wanted to move on, because he walked up to the kid and licked his free hand and then stuck his nose in his crotch. The kid jumped back.

                “Get him away from me,” he shouted. “I don’t want to have to shoot no dog!”

                Not to be discouraged, the dog picked up his ball and stuck it in Sofi’s hand, and she took it.

                “Give me your fucking money,” the kid shouted at Sofi. She nodded, acting, as if she understood this time and started digging in a pocket, but as she did, she started moving closer to the pier’s edge. The kid seemed somewhat pacified that he was getting what he wanted, and he sidled in the same direction with her. I didn’t know what she was going to do, but it didn’t seem wise to me. Then the ball just kind of, sort of, dribbled right out of her hand and rolled between the kid’s legs.

                The dog bolted to chase after it, and when the ball passed between the kid’s legs, so did the dog. The kid fought to keep his balance, but Sofi was on him, with a quick shove, and she caught him when he already had one foot in the air. The push moved him completely off his feet and he splashed backwards into the water. He went under for a second and then coughed his way to the surface, flailing wildly.

                “Help me!” he burbled. “I can’t swim!”

                Silly me, I looked around for a pole or something to extend his way and pull him out, but Sofi let out a piercing shriek. “¡Pinche cabrón!” she shouted—“You fucking bastard!” The dog, oblivious to all of it, brought the ball back to her, and she angrily grabbed it and drew a bead on the kid, throwing it hard and true and hitting the little fucker right in the forehead. It knocked him briefly back underwater. He flailed more, coughing up mouthfuls of frog’s eggs and brackish harbor water.

                But the dog was thrilled to see the ball thrown, and before I could grab him, he had leapt off the pier, bouncing the ball off his nose, and in the process, pawing the kid and pushing him underwater again.

                Sofi was still screaming obscenities, and she seemed to looking around on the ground for something else to throw. I managed to grab her just as she picked up a small anchor from one of the sailboats. She pulled on it hard and carried it toward the water, then jolted back when she reached the end of the line that tied it to the boat.

                “My God, you’ll kill him with that,” I said.

                ¿Y eso?” she answered—basically meaning, “So what’s your point?”

                The dog had swum around to shore and dropped the ball a second to shake off water before running back to us. I grabbed Sofi’s hand and said, “Let’s go.”

                She held back for a second and then followed me. We ran laughing all the way back to our apartment, hand in hand, and we made love all night long.

From Into Umbria

Umbrians

Every time I go to Italy, I fall in love with the way Italian women walk.

It’s a floating strut, usually done in high heels, regardless of the irregular cobblestones and sidewalks. Their heads and shoulders never slip from a seamless level trajectory, they float stationary, and yet somehow they can still make that thick ponytail bob or that impossibly curly hair flow behind like a comet tail.

Ladies, warn your gentlemen friends: If they look too longingly—or just too long—they’re likely to get a talking-to. Italian women don’t like to be stared at. Once in the Rome airport, I didn’t even realize I was looking in the direction of a busty blonde, until I noticed she was angrily sticking her tongue out at me.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’m not a peeper. I like watching everyone when I travel, but this is something else, and I’ve often thought I could make a fortune by opening a chain of schools that teaches women to walk like Italians.

Le italiane will pretend not to see you if they don't know you. You need an entree to converse. For example, on the train to Rome, I sat across from a young woman who looked every way but in my direction, her gaze seeming to slip over me without pausing. Then, after an hour on the train together, she yawned.

"Now you'll have me doing that too," I said in Italian with mock drama. She laughed and then happily told me her life story over the rest of the trip.

Such a wonderfully quirky people; Italians are closed and suspicious until you get an introduction, after which they greet you warmly when they see you out on the piazza, and they cry like they’re sending you off to war when it’s time for you to go home.

They can be churlish: One day I was walking from the school to my apartment and I heard a splat and a rattle when a woman dropped her plastic grocery bag as she was mounting her bicycle. An older man grunted a loud “eh” as he passed, without offering to help. She let out an angry stream of displeasure, and all I could make out was that she was telling him how impolite the men of Naples are.

Or frustratingly obtuse: One Friday morning, Roberta picked me up at my apartment to drive me to the Laundromat in the walled section of Città di Castello. She sped off in her car after I got out, and when I reached the door of the Laundromat, I realized it was closed. I waited a few minutes with my filthy clothes bulging out of a satchel. Eventually two old ladies came out of an adjacent door.

The sign on the door said “Open every day, 7 a.m. to 11 p.m.”

E chiusa, It’s closed,” one of the older women said, as if I should know that already. “La signora e morta, The owner is dead.”

I supposed that was what happened to you if you worked every day, but I didn’t walk away soon enough.

Cosa voleva?” the old woman asked without seeming to notice the load of dirty clothing I was balancing. “What was it that you wanted?”

“To wash my clothes!”

She shrugged because it was not her problem and lumbered off.

We are responsible only for ourselves, I suppose, an attitude that applies out on the Italian highways. It’s every man for himself, Mondo Cane, and for that reason, driving in Italy without swearing would be like driving in New York City without the use of a middle finger.

I also learned never to get into a philosophical conversation with an Italian woman while she is driving. We were going 80 kilometers per hour on the highway, tailgating the car in front of us. I don’t even remember what we were talking about, but suddenly, Roberta was looking straight at me instead of the road, with both hands off the wheel, because she needed to wave them at me to make her point.

Shortly afterward, we were pulled over by two carabinieri, federal police wearing blue and red hats. They had parked their squad car along the highway, and one waved a wand at Rob’s car, which meant she had to pull over. The officer then asked for license and registration and ran a check on the numbers.

Rob was smirking when we drove off again, and I asked why. When her daughter Eliza is pulled over, and the cops ask her why she is not wearing her seat belt, Rob said, Eliza grabs her breasts and kneads them, emitting “eh’s” and “ah’s” in staccato chirps to express the obvious and unpleasant fact that her bosom is chafed by the seat belt, and before long, the officers are so uncomfortable that they let her go without a ticket.

What do I like about Italians, aside from that mischievous sense of humor? They are generous to a fault and went out of their way to show me their country.

I love that when there are adults and children together, there is always animated conversation between them. The youngsters on their way to school on the train are pleasantly ebullient, hands flying around as they talk. At the soccer field down by the Tiber River in Città di Castello, the gray haired-men and the young studs play together, shouting “Dai! Dai!” “Come on!” as the forward makes his run. A pass and a shot; a goalie charges out of the box to snag the ball one-handed before drop kicking it.

“Ecco! There you have it!” his teammates croak.

There are moments of gratuitous delight: I was watching the street life from a table outside a cafe on the piazza. A mother walked by carrying a very small boy, and an older man at a table said “Ciao” and waved to him. The tot raised a hand, fingers together, and, unable to master the sibilants of “Ciao,” instead shouted, “Ow, Ow, Ow!”

Minutes later, an inexplicable parade passed by, seemingly important people sporting over-the-shoulder sashes, followed by older men wearing uniform warm-up sweats as from a sports team. The music sprang up suddenly from around the corner and the marching band miraculously appeared, snaked around the Bar Centrale and disappeared down the main street.

There is love lost expressed in unexpected places: Graffiti on the wall by the Duomo desperately said “Simi, Ti amo troppo bene, I love you too well,” and I can only hope that Simi, the intended recipient, saw it there.

On a concrete walkway over a thin, chalky stream running into the Tiber, I found two laments painted in blue paint and 10-inch letters on the bridge:

When I loved someone

I only realized she

was important after

I lost her.

Then:

It all began here

But you were

Important already

From the first.

 

I love the sounds of Italian, which can be lilting and musical or clashing and cacophonous. I’m fascinated by the generational differences in its voices. One day, there were two baristas at the café, a beautiful young girl, with short straight blonde hair in a long bob and a stud under her lip who spoke in a high baby-doll voice and a 40ish woman with curly short hair with a deep and resonant voice. Older men and women speak very low in their throats, which makes the voice box honk or rasp or trill like a cartoon character. The children sound like Topo Gigio, a famous Italian mouse puppet from “The Ed Sullivan Show” in the 1960s.

While speaking French or Spanish I find that women are naturally easier to understand than men because they speak more slowly and clearly and pronounce words more distinctly. In Italian, it’s the contrary, especially among college-educated men who speak in a slow, halting cadence that allows me enough space to catch up to what they are saying.

The language is as complex as the people and to an extent, Umbrian men and women have different accents. The women, for example, pronounce “Arrezzo,” the name of a town just over the Tuscan border, the way it’s supposed to be pronounced in Italian: Ar-RETS-zo. The men, however, lisp it Ar-RETH-tho, like Castilian Spanish. But if they are speaking in local dialect, I understand nothing.

Italians are natural hostage takers, whether you are in the lecture hall or in a private car. One day Rob asked if I wanted to come to her house for lunch between classes, and I told her I was not hungry.

"Well, I have to cook for my daughter," she said, "so will you come along?"

“Ok,” I said.

When we got to her apartment, she pulled out the broccoli she bought at the farm store the day before and started cleaning it while boiling water for pasta. I assumed she was preparing dinner for later that evening. Then the parboiled broccoli was cut up and dumped into a skillet with garlic and olive oil and then garnished with cheese.

"Ok, what do you want for a second plate?" she asked.

"Rob, I said I’m not hungry."

"Yes, but I made this food. You need a second," she said, as she shredded lettuce and radicchio for salad.

Sometimes you just have to shut up and eat.

The Gray Area of Prosecutor Conduct

WHEN PROSECUTORS GET TOO CLOSE TO THE LINE

Michael Kiefer | The Arizona Republic

October 27, 2013

Noel Levy was Arizona Prosecutor of the Year in 1990 when he convinced a jury to convict Debra Milke of first- degree murder for allegedly helping to plan the murder of her 4-year-old son. A year later, he convinced a judge to send her to death row.

It was a scandalous case: Prosecutors charged that in December 1989, Milke asked her roommate and erstwhile suitor to kill the child. The roommate and a friend told the boy he was going to the mall to see Santa Claus. Instead, they took him to the desert in northwest Phoenix and shot him in the head.

But neither man would agree to testify against Milke, and the state's case depended on a supposed confession Milke made to a Phoenix police detective. Milke denied confessing. The detective had not recorded the interview, and there were no witnesses to the confession. When Milke's defense attorneys tried to obtain the detective's personnel record to show that he was an unreliable witness with what a federal court called a "history of misconduct, court orders and disciplinary action," the state got the judge to quash the subpoena.

"I really thought the detective was a straight shooter, and I had no idea about all the stuff that allegedly came out," Levy recently told The Arizona Republic.

But in March of this year, after Milke, now 49, had spent nearly 24 years in custody, the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals threw out her conviction and sentence because of the state's failure to turn over the detective's personnel record so that Milke's defense team could challenge the questionable confession.

The 9th Circuit put the onus on the prosecution.

"(T)he Constitution requires a fair trial," the ruling said, "and one essential element of fairness is the prosecution's obligation to turn over exculpatory evidence."

The 9th Circuit judges ordered that Milke be retried within 90 days or be released. The chief circuit judge referred the case to the U.S. Attorney General's Office to investigate civil-rights infringements. Under the 9th Circuit order, prosecutors must allow the detective's personnel record into evidence if they use the contested confession.

Prosecutors are responsible for the testimony of the law- enforcement officers investigating their cases. Cops and prosecutors are the good guys. They put criminals in prison, sometimes on death row. Juries tend to believe them when they say someone is guilty. They don't expect them to exaggerate or withhold evidence. They don't expect their witnesses to present false testimony.

Yet The Arizona Republic found that, when the stakes are highest, when a trial involves a possible death sentence, that's exactly what can happen. In half of all capital cases in Arizona since 2002, prosecutorial misconduct was alleged by appellate attorneys. Those allegations ranged in seriousness from being overemotional to encouraging perjury.

Nearly half of those allegations were validated by the Arizona Supreme Court. Only two death sentences were thrown out, one for a prosecutor’s tactics that were considered overreaching but not actual misconduct because a judge had allowed him to do it. Two prosecutors were punished, one with disbarment, the other with a short suspension.

There seldom are consequences for prosecutors, regardless of whether the miscarriage of justice occurred because of ineptness or misconduct.

In fact, they are often congratulated. Since 1990, six different prosecutors who were named prosecutor of the year by the Arizona Prosecuting Attorneys Advisory Committee also were later found by appeals courts to have engaged in misconduct or inappropriate behavior during death-penalty trials, according to The Republic's examination of court documents.

And when prosecutors push the limits during criminal trials, whether crossing the line into misconduct or just walking up to it, there are risks: Convictions like Milke's get overturned, even if it takes 24 years, and innocent people, like Ray Krone, go to prison.

'Critical evidence'

In 1992, Levy helped send Krone to death row for a murder he did not commit. Krone's conviction and death sentence were thrown out three years later because the court had allowed Levy to present a videotape about matching bite marks into evidence that the defense had not had time to review.

Krone was dubbed the "Snaggletooth Killer" because of his twisted front teeth, and Levy found experts who said that those teeth matched bites on the victim's breast and neck.

"The State's discovery violation related to critical evidence in the case against the accused," the Arizona Supreme Court ruled when it tossed the case. "Discovery" refers to evidence that the opposing attorneys are supposed to make available to the other side before trial.

At retrial, Levy got another first-degree murder conviction for Krone, though at the second trial, Krone was sentenced to life in prison, where he spent seven more years.

In 2002, Krone was exonerated by a true DNA match; another man was convicted of the murder.

"It never came out that one expert said it (the bite mark) wasn't a match," Krone told The Republic. There were footprints that didn't match, DNA that was sketchy. And, as Krone said, other evidence was disregarded: an eyewitness account about a man seen near the crime scene who turned out to be the real killer, for example.

Krone sued Maricopa County and the city of Phoenix for his conviction and settled for more than $4 million.

Levy retired from the Maricopa County Attorney's Office in 2009 for medical reasons while in the middle of another capital murder trial with accusations of prosecutorial misconduct. That was the trial of Marjorie Orbin, who was charged with killing her husband and cutting his body into pieces, one of which was found in a giant plastic storage tub left in a desert lot in north Phoenix.

During Orbin's trial, Levy was twice accused of misonduct by Orbin's defense attorneys.

The first allegation was for denying Levy had spoken at the sentencing hearing of a jailhouse snitch who testified against Orbin, when he had. Then, Levy was accused of threatening another snitch who had recanted her story; during a break in her testimony, while the judge and the jury were out of the courtroom, he asked her and her attorney if they knew the maximum penalty for perjury, according to appeals court records.

Levy told the court that he was only "kibitzing" with the witness' attorney and not actually speaking to the witness herself.

The judge made a special instruction to the jury as a remedy, essentially telling them what had happened, and denied the motions for misconduct. Levy was stricken ill before the trial ended and another prosecutor took over. Orbin was found guilty, but the jury did not impose the death sentence.

There were no repercussions for Levy in that case, just as there were none in the Krone or Milke cases. The Maricopa County Attorney's Office refused to turn over his personnel file to The Republic, despite a request under the state's public-records laws, saying it was in "the best interests of justice."

"I just did my job, and I did it ethically," Levy said. "I'm fully aware of my ethical obligation to present evidence. It's up to the jury to make a decision."

As for how he feels now that a man spent 10 years in prison because of one of those jury decisions, Levy answered, "I don't look back and judge myself to say I did something wrong to Ray Krone.

"Did I commit some kind of sin? Should I go to confession and confess to you?"

Given great latitude

Prosecutors, not judges, not police, determine what, if any, charges to file, and they obtain indictments from the grand jury. They, more than a jury, determine whether a defendant acted in self-defense. They have enormous discretion over how the case unfolds, and judges grant them great latitude in their arguments.

"Prosecutors wield an enormous amount of power, including the ability to seek someone's death," said former Maricopa County Attorney Rick Romley. "Considering the magnitude of this power, prosecutors have an obligation to exercise good judgment, and they must temper their powers with wisdom. Winning at all costs should play no role in being a prosecutor. Then and only then will justice be ensured."

But that doesn't necessarily happen, and Romley's 16-year tenure as county attorney was not free of allegations of misconduct by his line prosecutors in capital cases: Krone's and Milke's, for example. The way the justice system really works is that if you are charged with a crime, you are likely to be found guilty of something.

In Maricopa County Superior Court, for example, of 2,700 felony cases terminated in July of this year, 1,706 ended in plea agreements, according to sources. Only 2 percent of felony cases went to trial. Of the 65 trials that ended that same month, 59 ended in guilty verdicts, four in mistrial and two in acquittals.

"You indicted somebody, now you've got to win," said defense attorney and former Watergate prosecutor Larry Hammond.

"Prosecutors really don't take seriously the ministry of justice," Hammond said. "They see themselves as adversaries."

And they often fight their battles in the gray areas of the law.

On a recent afternoon, a Maricopa County Superior Court judge was talking about prosecutors.

She drew a line on the table with her finger and then placed an eating utensil there to mark the line.

"That's misconduct," said the judge, who asked that her name not be used. Judges are loath to comment on cases for ethical reasons, and because they need to remain impartial to the attorneys who come before them.

Then she placed another utensil an inch away and parallel to the first on the table.

"That's reversible error," she said, referring to the level of misconduct that can get a sentence or conviction thrown out.

She put her finger in the space between the utensils and said, "That's where a lot of prosecutors operate."

Maricopa County Attorney Bill Montgomery had a quick counter.

"If courts are not enforcing the Rules of Professional Responsibility as they pertain to the conduct of defense attorneys and prosecutors, they are then responsible for what goes on in court," he said. "However, mere differences of opinion as to how a case should be tried cannot be the standard either."

Montgomery says he has beefed up prosecutor training to avoid misconduct and maintains an ethics committee to look into the actions of prosecutors, judges and defense attorneys alike.

"I'm trying to create an environment where prosecutors hold each other accountable," he said.

Tricks of the trade

As in any profession, there are tricks of the prosecutorial trade, ways to sway a jury without crossing the line.

You ask compound questions and then demand yes or no answers, for example. When the witness can't answer, you accuse him of being argumentative.

When the defense attorney is making a good case, you might accuse her of unethical conduct. You make objections in the same way football coaches call timeouts to slow a drive to the end zone.

And sex not only sells, it convicts.

"A good way to turn a questionable capital case into a definite capital case is to inject the sex component," said Tucson attorney Rick Lougee, "very often with little or no proof of the allegation."

You might also drag your feet on disclosing evidence and witness lists.

"Every piece of evidence is a fight, even if it doesn't matter to them," said Alan Tavassoli of the Maricopa County Public Defender's Office.

When does trickery become misconduct? The most frequently cited instances in appeals are withholding evidence that could aid the defendant, presenting false evidence, excluding jurors for racial reasons, making over-the-top statements, letting slip information that has deliberately been kept from the jury and disobeying a court order.

There have been few studies of prosecutorial misconduct. The cases are hard to identify, because they are simply not tracked in court databases. Instead, researchers have to rely on prominent cases memorialized in case law or anecdotal information.

According to a Pulitzer Prize-winning study by Ken Armstrong and Maurice Possley at the Chicago Tribune, between 1963 and 1999, at least 381 homicide convictions nationwide were thrown out for those infractions, including 67 in which the defendant had been sentenced to death.

And according to the Tribune, though the appellate courts frequently excoriated the prosecutors' actions, only five were punished, but not by any state lawyer disciplinary agency. More frequently, the Tribune reporters wrote, the offending prosecutors were rewarded for getting the convictions.

A similar study conducted in 2010 by Possley and Santa Clara University law professor Kathleen Ridolfi on behalf of the Northern California Innocence Project identified 707 instances of prosecutorial misconduct between 1997 and 2009 in California courts. But only 159 of those cases resulted in a mistrial or a reversed conviction or sentence. The study found that prosecutors were disciplined in only 1 percent of those cases.

Ridolfi and Possley also took a look at Arizona and found 20 state and federal cases between 2004 and 2008 in which prosecutors were found to have committed misconduct. Only five of the convictions were reversed. No prosecutors were disciplined.

'Harmless error'

In Arizona, all death sentences are subject to a mandatory "direct" appeal to the Arizona Supreme Court. The Arizona Republic reviewed all direct appeals of death sentences issued by the court between 2002 and the present.

Among those 82 direct appeals, there were 42 in which the defendants alleged prosecutorial misbehavior or outright misconduct, 33 of them from Maricopa County, which, as the largest county, has the busiest Superior Court.

The Supreme Court justices found that impropriety or misconduct had occurred in 18* of those 42 cases. But only two were reversed and remanded because of the behavior (in one case characterized only as overreaching). Two prosecutors were disciplined.

The offenses varied in seriousness from rolling eyes and sarcasm to introducing false testimony and failing to disclose evidence that might have helped the defendant.

But, overwhelmingly, even when misconduct was found, the high court determined that it was "harmless error," the defendant would have been convicted anyway, or the judge had cured the problem by making a jury instruction. Some of the most egregious instances do not show up in The Republic's study because the misconduct triggered a mistrial or caused the prosecution to offer a sweetheart plea deal; for instance, when a prosecutor had improper contact with a disgruntled member of the defense team or when it appeared as if the state had been listening in on a defendant's jail calls from his attorney.

According to case law, in order to declare a mistrial for prosecutorial misconduct, a trial must be "permeated" with bad behavior on the part of the prosecutor that "so infects the trial with unfairness as to make the resulting conviction a denial of due process."

Judges are reluctant to risk such drastic measures. If a judge or appellate court were to reverse a case because of misconduct, the defense could claim it amounts to double jeopardy, making it impossible to retry the suspect.

Prosecutors are allowed great latitude during closing arguments, the justices wrote over and over in the death- sentence direct appeals. Or because a defense attorney didn't object at the time of the alleged infraction, the defendant forfeited the option of appellate scrutiny.

"There are no consequences," said Susan Corey of the Office of the Legal Advocate, one of the county's three indigent-defense agencies. "There's absolutely no repercussion."

The majority of attorneys disciplined by the state Bar are attorneys who handle money: divorce attorneys, probate attorneys, civil attorneys. More defense attorneys than prosecutors are referred to the Bar, partly because the County Attorney's Office has an ethics committee.

It was established by former Maricopa County Attorney Romley. His successor, Andrew Thomas, focused on attacking defense attorneys. Thomas was later disbarred.

Montgomery said the ethics committee "only looked at possible referrals (to the disciplinary agencies) of judges and defense attorneys."

He said that it now looks at prosecutors as well, though he would not reveal any details or if anyone had been referred.

"Sometimes defense attorneys are hesitant to file Bar complaints against prosecutors because they're afraid for their next case," said John Canby from the Maricopa County Office of the Legal Defender, another of the three county defense agencies. "Playing nice and getting a good plea is usually the way to go."

"Lawyers in general don't like filing Bar charges," said Karen Clark, who represents other attorneys charged with ethical violations and has served as a prosecutor for the Bar.

"Nobody likes a rat," Clark said.

Repercussions possible

Filing a complaint, in fact, can have more repercussions for a defense attorney than unethical conduct has for prosecutors, as Rick Lougee discovered when he referred a prominent Pima County prowsecutor named Ken Peasley to the state Bar.

Peasley was Arizona Prosecutor of the Year in 1994, the year after he got death penalties imposed against two men and a teenager charged with murdering three people in a South Tucson mom-and-pop store called the El Grande Market.

During his career, Peasley prosecuted 140 murder cases, about 60 of them capital cases. He was a death-penalty machine, charming, forceful, well-respected by judges and lawyers alike. Except that he cheated.

"Prosecutors like Peasley have learned that you try people, not facts," Lougee said.

They go after the defense attorneys, the witnesses. They convince the jury that regardless of the facts, the defendant is a bad person and must be guilty of something.

Peasley got all three of the El Grande Market defendants sent to death row, largely on the testimony of an informant. But Peasley misrepresented the informant's knowledge, claiming that police knew nothing of the defendants until the informant brought them up. In fact, police were already aware of them. Nonetheless, Peasley lied to the judge and the jury and encouraged a witness to commit perjury.

Two of the three convicted murderers were granted a new trial because the jury foreman in their joint trial wavered on whether he supported the verdict when the jurors were polled.

The two defendants granted retrials were tried separately the next time. Peasley brought in the same perjured testimony during the retrials. One of the defendants was sent back to death row. Lougee got the other defendant acquitted in 1997, but he had figured out the deception. He filed his Bar charge that Peasley conspired to present false testimony and had repeated the perjury in the retrials.

The complaint made no difference at first, and Peasley was promoted shortly after the complaint was filed. He was named Prosecutor of the Year again in 1996. Judges rallied around him. He traveled the state to train other prosecutors. He won national awards.

Lougee said he was shunned by the legal community for having made the accusation.

But the state Bar took the complaint and passed the investigation to Karen Clark. It took Clark seven years to work out the case, but it ended, in 2004, with Peasley being disbarred by the Arizona Supreme Court. He has since died.

After his disbarment, the death penalty from the retrial was thrown out because of Peasley's behavior. The third defendant remains in prison, though his death sentence was commuted to life in prison when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that killers cannot be executed for murders they committed before the age of 18.

"Ken Peasley corrupted the system for 15 years," Lougee said. "That puts the system at risk for more than just my clients."

*After this series was published, two Deputy Maricopa County Attorneys complained about having cases included in the online database. One was a case in which the Supreme Court wavered over whether a prosecutor had gone over the top but concluded that even if he had, the trial judge had dealt with the problem. The second was a clear-cut Brady violation that compelled a judge to preclude evidence; the prosecutor argued that the Supreme Court had not found the misconduct, even if the trial judge did. The newspaper wrote corrections. Nothing other than the numbers in the database were affected.

 

PROSECUTORS UNDER SCRUTINY ARE SELDOM DISCIPLINED

Accusations of misconduct rarely result in mistrials

October 28, 2013

Richard Wintory was Arizona Prosecutor of the Year in 2007.

Wintory had spent 20 years as an assistant district attorney in Oklahoma, another seven in the Pima County Attorney's Office, and by 2010 had moved on to the Arizona Attorney General's Office, where he continued to try criminal cases, especially death-penalty cases. Now he is chief deputy in the Pinal County Attorney's Office.

He is also the focus of an investigation by the State Bar of Arizona because a Pima County Superior Court judge referred him to the Bar for improper contact with a member of a murder suspect's defense team.

Prosecutors are frequently accused of misconduct during criminal cases, and even if a trial judge or a court of appeals agrees that they acted badly, it rarely affects the conviction or sentence of the trial defendants.

Wintory calls himself an "impassioned" attorney; others might say he pushes the envelope.

"In the 30 years I've been a prosecutor, I've had many people file complaints and lawsuits against me, but I've never been disciplined," he said.

In Arizona, prosecutor misconduct is alleged in half of all capital cases that end in death sentences. Half the time, the Arizona Supreme Court agrees that misconduct occurred in those instances, but it rarely throws out a conviction or sentence because of it.

The Arizona Republic reviewed all of the Arizona Supreme Court opinions on death sentences going back to 2002. Of 82 cases statewide, prosecutorial misconduct was alleged on appeal by defense attorneys in 42 and the court found improprieties or outright misconduct in 18* instances. But only two of those death sentences were reversed because of the improprieties, and only two prosecutors were disciplined.

The offenses varied in seriousness from excessive sarcasm and vouching for the sincerity of witnesses to introducing false testimony and failing to disclose evidence that might have helped the defendant. But overwhelmingly, even when misconduct was found, the high court determined that it was "harmless error." The most serious examples did not appear in those cases because the misconduct caused a mistrial or the prosecution offered a favorable plea agreement to avoid mistrial, as in Wintory's case.

It is rare for prosecutors to be referred to the state Bar for misconduct, let alone be disciplined by the Bar or sanctioned by trial judges. And whether Wintory will be disciplined remains to be seen.

Formal complaint

Wintory had a history of allegations of prosecutorial misconduct in death-penalty cases before he came to Arizona. One death-penalty sentence he obtained in Oklahoma was thrown out because of Wintory's closing argument, which included "yelling and pointing at the defendant as he addressed him directly," according to a ruling by the Oklahoma Court of Criminal Appeals.

"This Court finds that the prosecutor in this case committed serious and potentially prejudicial misconduct," the opinion went on to say.

Wintory says he learned from the experience.

"Since that trial, I don't point at defendants. I don't do closings like that anymore," he said. "The reason why is you don't want to put (the victim's) family through those kinds of cases."

In 2010, while at the Pima County Attorney's Office, Wintory got an indictment against Darren Goldin, who was accused of hiring a hit man to kill a fellow drug dealer named Kevin Estep in March 2000. Goldin, the triggerman and a third accomplice had already been convicted of another drug-deal hit in Maricopa County. Goldin was sentenced to 16 years in prison on his conviction of second-degree murder

Wintory changed jobs before the case went to trial, but he took it with him to the Arizona Attorney General's Office, where he worked out of the Tucson office. He sought the death penalty in the Pima County case.

Capital cases require that defense attorneys find mitigating evidence that may persuade a jury to spare the defendant's life. Goldin was adopted, so his defense team hired a "confidential intermediary" to track down Goldin's birth mother. She found the mother and got her to tentatively agree to cooperate in Goldin's case.

But then the intermediary got into a disagreement with the defense attorneys over their decision not to tell the birth mother that Goldin was in prison, according to the state Bar investigative file. The intermediary withdrew from the case, and shortly after, the birth mother decided that she did not want to cooperate after all. Then the intermediary called Wintory and left a message.

It is highly improper for prosecutors to have secret contact with members of the defense team. But Wintory called her back, at least eight times, according to the record, even after the judge in the case had told him to cease contact with her.

Wintory's supervisors questioned the number of calls between Wintory and the defense-team member, but Wintory was said to be evasive. He claimed he had not learned anything about defense strategy, but he did know that the birth mother had also been adopted and knew nothing about her own family history that could help in the case.

In May 2012, Wintory's superiors at the Attorney General's Office took him off the case. That August, the office withdrew its intent to seek the death penalty. With the case in a tailspin, Goldin was offered a plea agreement to second-degree murder and a prison sentence of 11 years, five years less than the presumptive sentence for that crime.

The Bar investigative file says the death notice was dropped primarily because of case law from another Arizona county, but that the "apparent misconduct" figured into the decision to offer a reduced sentence.

"Whatever I did or didn't do had no influence on the plea," Wintory told The Republic.

When Pima County Superior Court Judge Paul Tang accepted the plea, he noted the "apparent misconduct allegedly engaged in by the prosecutor." At Goldin's sentencing, Tang told the defendant how lucky he was to have reaped the benefit of Wintory's conduct; then Tang noted that he would report Wintory to the Arizona State Bar.

Earlier this month, the Bar filed its formal complaint against Wintory, charging him with violating three ethical rules: knowingly making a false statement of fact or law or failing to correct a false statement; engaging in conduct involving dishonesty, fraud, deceit or misrepresentation; and engaging in conduct prejudicial to the administration of justice.

A Bar spokesman said a disciplinary hearing will be scheduled, unless Wintory reaches a settlement.

"I'm confident that if we get before a hearing panel and lay the facts out, they will see I had no intention to mislead anyone on this matter," Wintory said.

Slow-moving process

The disciplinary process is not rapid. It took seven years to disbar Ken Peasley, a Pima County prosecutor who was caught presenting testimony he knew to be false. Disbarment, however, is extreme, and Wintory could be punished with lesser sanctions, such as a suspension.

In 2004, Peasley was the first American prosecutor to be disbarred because of his conduct in a death-penalty case, according to the New Yorker magazine.

Arizona has had two more prosecutors disbarred for ethical violations since then. Former Maricopa County Attorney Andrew Thomas and one of his deputies, Lisa Aubuchon, were disbarred in April 2012 for filing criminal charges and a civil racketeering lawsuit against Superior Court judges and Maricopa County officials to further Thomas' political goals. Two other deputies received lesser sanctions for their participation in the affair.

"The only people that got anything out of his 'reign of error' were judges and supervisors," defense attorney Susan Corey said. Several of Thomas and Aubuchon's targets received vindication, and tidy court settlements.

Thomas and Aubuchon were not charged criminally for their actions, prosecutors are prosecuted even less frequently than they are disbarred, but it took three years for the system to rein them in and cost the county more than $5 million to settle lawsuits from judges and officials and millions more in legal fees.

"It's a culture that's set from the top," said Karen Clark, an ethics expert who prosecuted Peasley. "If you have a bad-apple prosecutor at the bottom, it's not tolerated. But when it comes from the top, it's rewarded."

During Peasley's tenure, there were two other Pima County prosecutors who came under scrutiny by the state Bar; one of them was suspended.

Maricopa County Attorney Bill Montgomery says he has beefed up prosecutor training to avoid misconduct and maintains an ethics committee to look into the actions of prosecutors, judges and defense attorneys alike.

"I'm trying to create an environment where prosecutors hold each other accountable," he said.

But Montgomery admitted he was not aware of many of the instances of misconduct or improprieties that are described over the course of this series, even those that occurred while he has been in office. That information rests with the middle-management supervisors, he said.

Montgomery has spent much time this year on statewide issues, lobbying against the medical-marijuana law passed by voters, for instance, and defending an Arizona abortion law found unconstitutional by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.

He said he does not weigh in on how prosecutors try their cases. "The attorneys are trying the case, I'm not going to step in," he said. "They're on their own."

And if they need to be put in their place, "that's the job of the judge. It's the job of the defense attorney to object," he said.

Minor sanctions

Even when prosecutors do get called before the Bar, most sanctions are minor.

Thomas Zawada, a contemporary of Peasley and a fellow prosecutorial superstar in the Pima County Attorney's Office, was disciplined in 2004 for misconduct during a murder trial 10 years earlier. According to an Arizona Supreme Court opinion, the state Bar inquiry into his conduct found that Zawada's “misconduct included (a) appeals to fear by the jury if (the defendant) was not convicted, (b) disrespect for and prejudice against mental health experts that led to harassment and insults during cross-examination, and (c) improper argument to the jury."

The Supreme Court justices thought that Zawada's behavior was so egregious that it threw out the murder conviction and attached double jeopardy so that the murder suspect could not be retried. As punishment, the state Bar hearing officer recommended that Zawada be censured, put on probation for six months and told to seek continuing education in dealing with psychological testimony. Instead, the high court suspended Zawada from practicing law for six months and one day, meaning that he would have to reapply to the Bar afterward. According to the state Bar website, Zawada has never been reinstated.

Deputy Maricopa County Attorney Ted Duffy was suspended from practicing law for 30 days in 2009 after being referred to the Bar by a Superior Court judge for repeatedly disobeying a judge's orders in a capital murder case to not mention evidence that had been precluded from trial, including the defendant's prior convictions. The trial ended in a hung jury, and the defendant was acquitted when Duffy took him back to trial.

But most findings of misconduct are not reported to the state Bar and have little or no consequence for the prosecutor involved.

Even when they make findings of prosecutorial misconduct, judges do not necessarily report the offenders to the Bar, which would then investigate the offenses in light of the state's rules of attorney ethics and determine whether to set to disciplinary hearings.

Jonathan Mena Cobian, who goes by the name Alex, was at his mother's house in Phoenix when a group of gang members came looking for his half-brother John Mitchell Mena to take him to task for trying to leave their gang. According to court filings, they asked Alex to step outside to help them with a car problem, then attacked him, and when Alex knocked one to the ground, they told him that they would come back to kill him.

Another brother had called 911; Alex talked to the dispatcher about the attack and the police officer who came to the house advised Alex that he would be within his rights to carry a firearm in case the gang members returned. Alex went to get his guns, picked up John at the mall and returned to their mother's house.

According to motions filed by Alex's defense attorneys, the gang members pulled into the driveway behind him. Alex told them to leave, and when they advanced on him and John, the brothers fatally shot two of them. Someone inside the home called 911 again.

Alex and John were charged with first-degree murder. Court records show that the prosecutor, Deputy County Attorney Eric Basta, did not want to turn over evidence of the victims' criminal past, a matter brought to the Arizona Court of Appeals. The case was remanded to the grand jury twice, and Superior Court Judge George Foster ordered Basta to play the potentially exculpatory 911 tapes for the grand jury. Basta had already been told to do so by another judge who had the case before Foster.

When Basta refused, Foster threw out the indictment. He wrote in his ruling that Basta had denied due process to the two defendants. "The court further finds prosecutorial  misconduct and that the appropriate remedy is dismissal without prejudice of the indictment as to both defendants," Foster wrote. Then he sealed the order from the public record.

When asked why he didn't refer Basta to the Bar, Foster told The Republic that he felt that dismissing the indictment was sanction enough.

Alex and John were subsequently reindicted on second-degree murder and aggravated assault charges, respectively, and their case is expected to go to trial this fall. misconduct

Bill Montgomery said he was not aware of the case or of the finding of misconduct. Basta declined a request for an interview.

 

A STAR PROSECUTOR’S TRIAL CONDUCT CHALLENGED

Justices critical of Arias prosecutor's behavior in other cases

October 29, 2013

 Juan Martinez was Arizona Prosecutor of the Year in 1999, more than a decade before he became a media darling with his performance in the Jodi Arias murder trial.

This year, Martinez persuaded a jury to find Arias guilty of first-degree murder, but the jurors could not reach consensus on whether to sentence her to death or life, and Arias likely faces a new trial to make that decision.

Martinez helped send seven other killers to death row since he was hired by the Maricopa County Attorney's Office in 1988.

He was accused by defense attorneys of prosecutorial misconduct in all but one of those cases. The Arizona Supreme Court characterized his actions as constituting misconduct in one of them and cited numerous instances of "improper" behavior in another, but neither rose to the level where the justices felt they needed to overturn the cases. Allegations of misconduct by Martinez in the second case and at least two others are pending in state and federal courts.

It is not uncommon for defense attorneys to allege misconduct against prosecutors. A study by The Arizona Republic determined that it has been alleged in about half of all death-penalty cases since 2002 and validated in nearly one-quarter of them.

But it is rare for Supreme Court justices to call out a prosecutor’s conduct in open court.

One day in mid-2010, the Arizona Supreme Court was on the bench as lawyers presented arguments during the direct appeal of a first-degree murder conviction and death sentence for a man named Mike Gallardo, who killed a teenager during a Phoenix burglary in 2005.

Transcripts show that Justice Andrew Hurwitz turned to the attorney representing the Arizona Attorney General's Office, the prosecutorial agency that handles death-penalty appeals.

"Can I ask you a question about something that nobody's discussed so far?" he asked. "The conduct of the trial prosecutor. It seems to me that at least on several occasions, and by and large the objections were sustained, that the trial prosecutor either ignored rulings by the trial judge or asked questions that the trial judges once ruled improper and then rephrased the question in another improper way. ... Short of reversing a conviction, how is it that we can ... stop inappropriate conduct?"

The assistant attorney general struggled to answer.

Justice Michael Ryan then stepped into the discussion.

"Well, this prosecutor I recollect from several cases," Ryan said. "This same prosecutor has been accused of fairly serious misconduct, but ultimately, we decided it did not rise to the level of requiring a reversal," Ryan said. "There's something about this prosecutor, Mr. Martinez."

There had been multiple allegations of prosecutorial misconduct against Martinez in Gallardo's appeal. Ultimately, in its written opinion, the court determined that Martinez had repeatedly made improper statements about the defendant. During the oral argument before the Supreme Court, the justices fixed on a question that Martinez asked three times, even though the trial judge in the case had sustained a defense attorney's objections to the question.

But, in the end, the justices ruled that Martinez's behavior still did not "suggest pervasive prosecutorial misconduct that deprived (the defendant) of a fair trial."

And, as the justices noted, it was not the first time that Martinez had walked away unscathed.

"It's his MO," Deputy Maricopa County Public Defender Tennie Martin said when asked about trying cases against Martinez. "He's kind of Teflon."

Retired county Superior Court Judge Kenneth Fields, himself a former federal prosecutor, said, "You're at war, almost nuclear war, the minute you come up against him."

Fields was one of several judges who sued Maricopa County and received settlements after being falsely targeted by the anti-corruption crusade of disbarred former County Attorney Andrew Thomas and Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

Martinez declined to talk to The Republic for this story. The County Attorney's Office refused to turn over his personnel file despite a request made by The Republic under the state's public-records law. The office said the denial was "due to the best interests of justice."

The National District Attorneys Association honored Martinez with its "Home Run Hitter Award for Outstanding Prosecution" for 2013 because of the Arias murder trial and conviction.

The general public loved the trial, but Martinez's live-streamed aggression in the courtroom, his pacing and arm-waving, his constant sarcasm raised concerns among legal pundits. Arias' defense attorneys filed numerous motions for mistrial alleging prosecutorial misconduct. All were denied by the judge.

County Attorney Bill Montgomery denounced the circus atmosphere in the courtroom, though he did not criticize his prosecutor.

"I do not believe the coverage of that trial furthered the understanding of the criminal-justice process," Montgomery said. "I had no idea it was going to turn out like that."

More allegations

Not counting the allegations of misconduct during the Arias trial this spring, Martinez has been called out in at least two other cases this year.

The defense attorney in the Richard Chrisman trial, which ended in a hung jury on two counts last month, filed motions in January to protest Martinez's failure to disclose an expert witness whom Martinez had retained a year and a half earlier. The judge ordered that the defense attorney be allowed to interview the tentative witness.

Then, during the penalty stage of the trial, the defense attorney asked for a mistrial on the grounds of misconduct because he thought Martinez was trying to shift the burden of proof from the state to the defendant. The judge called it "close to the line of burden shifting" but let the trial go on.

Earlier this year, another attorney referred Martinez to the State Bar of Arizona after a dispute over whether he and the defense attorney had reached an agreement on preliminary court actions and for failing to file a pretrial statement.

According to state Bar investigative files, Martinez denied there had been an agreement but acknowledged he "unknowingly failed to comply" with the deadline for the pretrial statement. The Bar closed the case in June; it did not sanction Martinez, but sent him an "instructional comment" on filing documents "in a timely manner."

Misconduct has to be "pervasive" for a judge to throw out a case or for the Supreme Court to throw out a conviction. It is rare for a prosecutor to be sanctioned by the court or disciplined on ethical grounds by the state Bar.

A study by The Arizona Republic found that improper behavior by prosecutors was alleged in half of all death penalties reviewed by the Arizona Supreme Court since 2002. The high court found that prosecutorial impropriety or outright misconduct had indeed occurred in nearly half of those allegations, but only twice found that it rose to a level where the conviction was overturned.

But other instances of misconduct do not appear among those numbers because the misconduct caused a mistrial or encouraged prosecutors to offer a plea deal to a lesser sentence to avoid mistrial.

Former Deputy Maricopa County Attorney Noel Levy, who was Arizona Prosecutor of the Year in 1990, was never sanctioned, even though he helped put Debra Milke on death row that year based on a questionable confession. He and law enforcement were successful in blocking the defense attorney's attempt to impeach the detective who said Milke confessed.

And then two years later, Levy helped put an innocent man on death row, as well. Ray Krone spent 10 years in prison before he was exonerated by DNA. Milke's conviction and death sentence were overturned in March of this year. Courts acknowledged prosecutorial lapses in both cases and overturned the verdicts and sentences.

Montgomery also refused to divulge Levy's personnel file "due to the best interests of justice."

Levy told The Republic: "I just did my job, and I did it ethically. I'm fully aware of my ethical obligation to present evidence. It's up to the jury to make a decision."

Tactics challenged

Sex and outrage often figure prominently in Martinez's cases.

In 2004, Martinez persuaded a jury to send Wendi Andriano to death row for murdering her husband in an especially cruel manner. She poisoned him, and when that didn't work fast enough, she stabbed and beat him to death.

Like Arias, Andriano claimed to be a victim of domestic abuse. On appeal, Andriano's defense team argued that Martinez had unfairly prejudiced the jury because "he took every opportunity to infuse the trial with marginally relevant information about Andriano's partying and man-chasing."

The Arizona Supreme Court pushed away the allegation, saying that closing arguments are not evidence and that the jury would have known that because it had been so instructed.

During a second-degree- murder trial in 2005, Martinez accused the defendant of covering up prior crimes that the judge had ordered withheld from the jury. Martinez revealed them anyway, which the Arizona Court of Appeals deemed improper. Then, during his rebuttal, Martinez repeatedly compared the defense attorney, who is Jewish, to Adolf Hitler and his "big lie."

The trial judge told the jury to disregard the remarks but did not grant a defense request for a mistrial. The Appeals Court called the analogy "reprehensible" but did not overturn the case because, "In recognition of the frequently emotional nature and sometimes rough and tumble quality of closing argument, attorneys, including prosecutors, are allowed wide latitude in their arguments to the jury."

Also in 2005, Martinez obtained convictions and death sentences against Cory Morris, who killed five prostitutes in 2002 and 2003 and dumped their decomposing bodies in alleys. Martinez told the jury that Morris took them to the camper bus he parked behind his aunt's house in the Garfield neighborhood of central Phoenix, strangled them during sex, and then continued to have sex with their bodies until they rotted and fell apart.

On appeal, Morris' lawyers noted that Martinez and not the medical examiner had decided that Morris engaged in necrophilia. Once again, the Supreme Court justices wrote that prosecutors have "wide latitude."

"While the evidence in this case does not compel the conclusion that Morris engaged in intercourse with the corpses of the victims, the record includes sufficient evidence to permit the prosecutor to make such an argument," the justices wrote when affirming Morris' death sentences. Furthermore, they pointed out, Morris' trial attorney had not objected to the allegations during trial.

The high court did disapprove of Martinez singling out jurors in comments during his arguments, drawing comparisons to Morris and his victims, which it deemed misconduct.

It found Martinez to have been inappropriate when at one point he took a jacket worn by one of the dead out of a plastic evidence bag for the jury's "smelling pleasure." The jacket filled the jury area with the smell of decomposition, but the justices said: "This single remark did not deprive Morris of a fair trial."

Morris' convictions and death sentences were upheld, but the allegations of necrophilia are being debated in Morris' ongoing appeals. In its filings, the state reiterates the words of the Supreme Court that Martinez had "wide latitude" to deduce necrophilia from the facts at hand; the appeals judge felt there was room for argument and set an evidentiary hearing.

'Everything ... is attack'

In 2009, Martinez tried Douglas Grant, who had been charged with first-degree murder in the drowning of his wife, Faylene. It was another bizarre case.

Grant, a dietitian who worked with the Phoenix Suns, had divorced Faylene and was dating at least two other women. Faylene, who was a self-described Mormon mystic, asked Grant to repent and remarry her because she had visions that she would soon die and she needed to have a husband to be admitted into heaven.

She also selected one of Grant's interim girlfriends as a suitable mother to raise their children after her death, and she encouraged Grant to marry the woman when she was gone. Faylene wrote numerous letters to friends and relatives about her anticipated demise and filled her journals with her thoughts.

On Sept. 24, 2001, while on a second honeymoon with Grant to a sacred Mormon site in Utah, Faylene fell from a cliff. Her visions told her that would be the day she died, but instead, she survived with injuries that were painful but not life-threatening. A relative sent to Grant's house shortly afterward found many of Faylene's prized possessions laid out and tagged with Post-it notes telling who she wanted to have them after her death. Two days later, Faylene drowned in a bathtub while impaired by pain medication and sleeping pills. At first, the death was ruled an accident; then, four years later, Grant was arrested and charged with murder.

Grant was represented by Mel McDonald, a former Superior Court judge and a former U.S. attorney for the District of Arizona.

The prosecutorial high jinks, which McDonald chronicled in motions, began in the pretrial stage. Martinez had to be compelled to turn over Faylene's letters and journals in which she happily proclaimed that she would soon die and go to heaven.

The court record shows that Martinez avowed that he had turned over all farewell letters from Faylene when he hadn't. Martinez also denied having tape recordings of interviews with certain witnesses, though they eventually materialized. The judge ordered that the materials be turned over and threatened to dismiss the case "on the basis of ongoing discovery issues."

In pretrial hearings, Martinez grilled Grant's new wife and another former girlfriend about intimate details of their sex lives, down to whether they wore thong underwear or had performed oral sex in cars.

During his opening statements in the 2008-09 trial, Martinez claimed that Grant had lifted Faylene while she was unconscious and had placed her in the bathtub to drown her. In his closing arguments, he said Grant had her kneeling at the side of the tub and pushed her head underwater. He feigned surprise when a witness on the stand came up with a story of which McDonald had not been informed.

The courtroom interaction was vicious.

"Everything he does is attack," McDonald said. "There's a time to attack, but you don't attack every witness on every point, every time. I couldn't even ask a question without him objecting."

Grant was portrayed throughout the trial as a sex-obsessed Lothario, and the jury told the media afterward that they had convicted him because he was a "scuzzbag."

Martinez did not get a first-degree-murder conviction, however. The jury found Grant guilty of manslaughter, and the judge sentenced him to only five years in prison. McDonald said he did not file appeals alleging misconduct to avoid the risk that Grant might be awarded a new trial and then be found guilty of a more serious murder charge.

"If you go in on a Murder 1 and walk out with only five years in prison, you would have to be brain dead to file an appeal," he said.

Contentious Arias trial

The Jodi Arias trial won Martinez international attention, but, like other trials, it has been rife with allegations of misconduct.

Arias' attorneys filed numerous motions to protest Martinez's actions, not just in trial but in the years of discovery and evidentiary hearings between the 2008 murder and the 2013 trial.

The two judges who handled the case over those four years repeatedly ordered Martinez to produce e-mails, photographs and social-media posts that fueled the salacious case.

Martinez would repeatedly deny such materials existed. A month before the jury was picked, he was still fighting with defense attorneys over the whereabouts and contents of victim Travis Alexander's computer.

When Arias' defense attorneys asked for more time to study the thousands of images in its drives, Martinez objected, saying that the defense had already had four years in which to analyze the computer.

Arias admitted that she killed Alexander and claimed that she shot him after he attacked her. For four years, police and prosecution maintained that Arias first shot Alexander and then stabbed him and slit his throat. But days before jury selection, Martinez changed the facts of the case, saying that Arias had shot Alexander last instead of first. Arias' attorneys, Kirk Nurmi and Jennifer Willmott, protested that the rationale for seeking the death penalty had been based on the first theory.

They filed a motion for mistrial alleging prosecutorial misconduct when Martinez appeared on television, signing autographs and posing for photos with fans.

Martinez verbally attacked Arias and her witnesses. He painted Arias as a sexual predator. He asked compound questions and then accused witnesses of being non-responsive when they would not answer yes or no.

"I would not have let the cross-examinations go on for that long," said Fields, the retired judge. "It was just badgering and bullying the witnesses in an attempt to ruin their credibility. It crossed the line."

As video and transcripts later showed, many of the trial's most contentious moments took place in the judge's chambers or at the bench, out of earshot of the rest of the courtroom and the cameras. Etiquette is a given during court proceedings. Martinez was frequently insulting.

The first question he posed to Arias during cross-examination set the tone, when he displayed a photograph to the courtroom and described it to her as a "picture of you and your dumb sister."

One day at the bench, as the attorneys debated whether to admit a statement about whether Alexander wanted to kill himself, transcripts show Martinez said, "But the thing is that if Ms. Willmott and I were married, I certainly would say, 'I f---ing want to kill myself.'"

Willmott objected, and two days later at another bench conference, Martinez said to Willmott, "Well, then, maybe you ought to go back to law school."

Nurmi asked Judge Sherry Stephens to step in, but she did not.

"In my view, that would have been a fine," Fields said. "I probably would have reported him to the Bar. It shows his bias. It's just inappropriate."

But it didn't matter. Martinez became a rock star. He got the conviction. Whether he ultimately gets a death sentence for Arias remains to be seen.

"All the young prosecutors want to be like Juan Martinez now," said Alan Tavassoli, an attorney with the Maricopa County Public Defender's Office. "He's a role model. And so was Noel Levy."

 

CAN THE SYSTEM CURB PROSECUTORIAL ABUSES?

Clearer definition of misconduct, strong judicial oversight are key

October 30, 2013
For three days, The Arizona Republic has examined prosecutor conduct and misconduct, citing cases in which prosecutors stepped over the line without suffering consequences to themselves or the convictions they win.

The question remains: What can be done about it?

Options already are in place.

When a prosecutor steps over the line, it's up to the defense attorney to call it to the court's attention, and it's up to the judge to decide whether an offense has been committed and whether it affects the defendant's right to a fair trial.

Yet neither likes to do so.

Prosecutors are arguably the most powerful people in the courtroom: They file the charges and offer the plea agreements. They determine whether to seek the death penalty, and, given mandatory sentencing, predetermine the consequence of a guilty verdict.

Defense attorneys worry that if they cross a prosecutor, future clients could be treated more harshly the next time they face that prosecutor in court. Judges worry about prosecutors who use court rules to bypass those judges who rein them in. Both know that prosecutors are rarely sanctioned by the court or investigated by the State Bar of Arizona for ethical misconduct.

So, overly aggressive prosecutors continue to have their way in the courtroom, as long as they win cases, experts say.

"It comes from this 'end-justifies-the-means mentality,'" said Jon Sands, federal public defender for Arizona. "We'll do anything we can to bring someone to justice."

What is ' misconduct'?

Part of the problem of reining in prosecutorial misconduct is defining it.

When a defense attorney does something wrong while defending a criminal client, it's called "ineffective assistance of counsel."

When a judge does something wrong, it's called "judicial error."

But when it's the prosecutor who is under scrutiny, it's called "prosecutorial misconduct." It's a fuzzy concept rooted more in constitutional law than in rules of professional conduct: A "term of art," according to the American Bar Association.

But what constitutes misconduct depends on a judge's ruling. Even then, such rulings tend to blur the distinction among what is improper, "inartfully stated," bad judgment or outright.

"The vast, vast majority of prosecutorial-misconduct claims go to inadvertent slip-ups rather than calculated interference with the wheels of justice," said Judge Peter Swann of the Arizona Court of Appeals.

It's a view shared by defense attorneys and prosecutors, as well. In 2009, the American Bar Association recommended that states amend their rules of court procedure to create a new term of “prosecutor error" to force judges to determine the intent of the prosecutor.

"Prosecutors are human and will make mistakes," said Yavapai County Attorney Sheila Polk, who is president of the Arizona Prosecuting Attorneys Advisory Committee. "The judge needs to address it at the time, especially for a less experienced attorney.

"However, if an experienced attorney is playing with the rules and the judge knows it is deliberate (or has seen it before), then the court needs to address it. ... It simply cannot go unaddressed. That goes for defense attorneys as well as prosecutors."

Judges make a difference

When an allegation of misconduct is made before or during a trial, judges have to think long and hard about whether to dismiss a case or sanction a prosecutor.

That is the question facing Maricopa County Superior Court Judge Sally Duncan in the case of Jeffrey Martinson.

Martinson was found guilty of murdering his 5-year-old son. But in March 2012, before the jury could decide whether to impose the death penalty, his attorneys, Treasure VanDreumel and Mike Terribile, uncovered juror misconduct, and Duncan declared a mistrial.

Deputy County Attorney Frankie Grimsman then filed multiple motions to have the judge and the defense team removed from the case, all of which were denied by Duncan and by the court's then-presiding criminal judge, Douglas Rayes.

Grimsman also tried to dismiss the original indictment and re-indict Martinson, this time without a notice to seek the death penalty, which intentionally or coincidentally, would result in a new judge and defense team. In the original indictment, Martinson had been charged with felony murder, meaning the child died during the commission of another crime, namely child abuse. Grimsman was now alleging premeditated murder.

Duncan refused to dismiss the original indictment and pointed out in a ruling that through the first trial, Grimsman had said that she did not have evidence to charge Martinson with premeditation but had argued it anyway.

"The court further finds that the state either deliberately disregarded the court's rulings or acted in a willfully blind manner," Duncan ruled in October 2012.

Grimsman appealed Duncan's ruling in the Martinson case to the Arizona Court of Appeals for her right to dismiss the original indictment and won, sort of. The Court of Appeals reversed Duncan's ruling but gave Duncan the option to determine whether the state attempted to dismiss the indictment improperly.

"The State has done nothing improper in seeking to re-indict this case," Grimsman and another deputy county attorney wrote in a response to Terribile and VanDreumel's motion to dismiss the charges, alleging bad faith. "Defendant has made numerous spurious assertions which have no basis in fact or reality."

Terribile and VanDreumel then filed a motion to dismiss the case altogether, alleging prosecutorial misconduct for charging Martinson with felony murder and then trying him for premeditated murder. They argued the motion case to Duncan on Oct. 3.

Duncan took the case under advisement and, as of this writing, still has not ruled.

The County Attorney's Office declined to comment on the case because it is ongoing.

What can be done?

Karen Clark, a private attorney, not only defends lawyers against state Bar complaints, she prosecutes for alleged ethical lapses that could lead to disbarment. Clark, for example, prosecuted Deputy Pima County Attorney Ken Peasley, who was disbarred in 2004 for encouraging perjury during capital-murder trials.

She says systems are in place to control courtroom conduct without putting bad guys back on the street.

"We are a self-regulating profession. ... Just because the other (checks and balances) aren't working doesn't mean you have to overturn convictions," Clark said. "You get the other wheels working."

Maricopa County Attorney Bill Montgomery said that he is "trying to create an environment where prosecutors hold each other accountable."

Montgomery told The Republic that his office's ethics committee, which historically has filed complaints against defense attorneys and judges, now also considers prosecutor ethics.

But Montgomery's office has not responded to a request for details about the committee made July 30 under the state's public-records laws.

The request asked for the names of the people on the ethics committee and a list of judges, prosecutors and defense attorneys referred to the office ethics committee and a list of those whom the ethics committee referred to the state Bar.

Polk said there is communication in Yavapai County among judges, prosecutors and public defenders to identify bad actors before they cause damage.

But for a defense attorney to make a referral puts him or her in the crosshairs, according to David Euchner, president of Arizona Attorneys for Criminal Justice and an assistant public defender in Pima County.

"They're afraid of the blowback they'll get," Euchner said.

To combat the threat of reprisal, his organization of defense attorneys has recently created a panel to gather information and file Bar complaints against rogue prosecutors. It is intended to mirror the ethics committee of the Maricopa County Attorney's Office.

"That's why we decided to put together our own panel to give attorneys a cover," Euchner said. "So that a statewide association files the complaint, not the individual attorney."

Judges worry about "blowback," as well.

"Once the prosecutors gained the ability to use charging decisions to shape sentences (due to mandatory sentencing), it was a huge power shift," said Swann, the Appeals Court judge. "The Legislature empowers the prosecutors and defangs the judges."

Of the approximately 40,000 felony cases filed each year in Maricopa County, most end in plea agreements. Only 2 percent go to trial, and most of those result in guilty verdicts. So, by filing charges or offering plea agreements, the prosecutor is, in effect, also deciding the punishment.

Swann also took issue with prosecutors' ability to make a "peremptory strike" against a judge they don't want to appear before because of that judge's courtroom practices. They are allowed one such strike without having to say why, and they use it to try to gain a tactical advantage in a case. If they want to strike a second judge, they must show cause.

"When judges who take steps to manage their courtrooms are subject to peremptory strikes, it diminishes their control over the courtroom. And it can serve to chill the bench," Swann said.

Defense, prosecution and judges all agree that the final word on defining and curbing prosecutorial misconduct rests with judges.

"The bottom line, judges must report conduct," Polk said. "To sit from afar and paint a broad brush against prosecutors does absolutely nothing to help us all achieve our high standards of justice and due process."

Swann agreed.

"When a judge thinks a lawyer's conduct is questionable, the lawyer should be referred," he said.

 

Ariz. prosecutors must now reveal evidence of convicts' innocence

November 15, 2013
If Arizona prosecutors find evidence that shows a convicted person may actually be innocent, they must turn it over to the convict's defense attorneys, according to a new rule for lawyers enacted Thursday by the Arizona Supreme Court.

And if the prosecutors find "clear and convincing evidence" that a defendant is not guilty, according to the amended rule, they must take steps to have the conviction reversed.

The rule was approved over the objection of state prosecutors, who say it is unnecessary.

Maricopa County Attorney Bill Montgomery, one of the prosecutors who opposed the change, declined to comment for The Arizona Republic. The objection to the proposal filed under his name last month said that "we have no real-world examples of prosecutors discovering evidence of the nature that would trigger a duty under this rule."

"Prosecutors in Arizona already fully embrace their roles as ministers of justice when (it) comes to righting wrongful convictions," the filing said.

The objection cited the fact that Montgomery's office recently filed motions to drop charges against people who pleaded guilty to "huffing," that is, intentionally inhaling toxic vapors to get high, when it was discovered that the office had misinterpreted the law.

However, at least one case contests the notion that prosecutors always turn over such exculpatory evidence.

In 1999, a man named Henry Hall was sent to death row for the murder of Ted Lindberry, based largely on the testimony of a jailhouse informant who claimed that Hall had described to him how he had smashed Lindberry's skull and dumped his body in the desert east of Phoenix. The body had not yet been found when Hall was sentenced to death.

But by the time Hall's conviction and sentence were overturned by the Arizona Supreme Court because of juror misconduct in 2001, Lindberry's skeletal remains had been located in the desert west of Phoenix. His skull was not caved in.

The remains were released to Lindberry's family and cremated. Hall's defense attorneys did not learn about the new exculpatory evidence until approximately a year after the remains had been destroyed, according to court documents.

The informant had since died. But Maricopa County prosecutors wanted to use the informant's testimony in Hall's retrial.

Superior Court Judge Roland Steinle refused to allow the testimony because it was proved to be false and because the informant could not be challenged because he was dead. And as a sanction for not disclosing the discovery of the skeletal remains, Steinle agreed to allow the defense attorneys to inform the jury of the lapse.

The prosecutors took the case to the Arizona Court of Appeals, still planning to use the false informant testimony.

In 2011, the appellate court denied the appeal (as well as a request by the defense to throw out the case for prosecutorial misconduct). Prosecutors allowed Hall to plead to second-degree murder and a prison sentence of 16 years; he had already served more than 13.

Montgomery also declined to comment on the Hall case.

If the new amendment, known as Rule 3.8, had been in effect at the time of Hall's conviction, it would have made the prosecutor's duty obvious, though it would not have guaranteed that Hall's first-degree conviction would have been overturned.

The amended Rule 3.8 to the Arizona Rules of Professional Conduct is modeled on rules suggested by the American Bar Association in 2008.

The text of the amendment says, "When a prosecutor knows of new, credible, and material evidence creating a reasonable likelihood that a convicted defendant did not commit an offense of which the defendant was convicted, the prosecutor shall:

"(1) promptly disclose that evidence to the court in which the defendant was convicted and to the corresponding prosecutorial authority, and to defendant's counsel. ...

"(2) if the judgment of conviction was entered by a court in which the prosecutor exercises prosecutorial authority, make reasonable efforts to inquire into the matter or to refer the matter to the appropriate law enforcement or prosecutorial agency for its investigation into the matter."

The amendment goes on to say that when a prosecutor learns that a defendant is not guilty, "the prosecutor shall take appropriate steps, including giving notice to the victim, to set aside the conviction."

Defense attorney Larry Hammond, one of the petitioners who proposed the amendment in 2011, called it "an important step forward to make as sure as we can that there are no people who are not guilty who remain in our prison."

But the state's prosecutors tried to dissuade the Supreme Court from making the amendment.

Pima County Attorney Barbara LaWall wrote in her comments filed with the Supreme Court that she could not order law enforcement to conduct investigations into new evidence and worried that the rule would force prosecutors to investigate the numerous claims of innocence by the state's prison populations.

LaWall did not respond to a request for comment.

The comments by Montgomery's office, filed by Chief Deputy County Attorney Mark Faull, called the investigations "unfunded mandates" and said, "The rule will subject honest, hard-working prosecutors to unnecessary Bar complaints where the burden will be on the prosecutor to prove that his or her action or inaction was 'in good faith.'"

Yavapai County Attorney Sheila Polk, representing the Arizona Prosecuting Attorneys' Advisory Council, called the changes "unnecessary, confusing, impractical, and a solution in search of a problem" in her filings with the high court.

She wrote that prosecutors could not be ordered to do investigations and noted that some counties do not have a public defender's office to contact, as required in the amendment.

Polk also did not respond to a request for comment.

The Supreme Court and Chief Justice Rebecca White Berch disagreed with the prosecutors.

The amendment "highlights the special duty of prosecutors to act as ministers of justice and not as advocates who seek to obtain convictions at all costs," Berch said in an e-mail to The Republic.

She added: "It requires affirmative steps to be taken when it appears that a defendant might have been wrongfully convicted.

"Prosecutors represent all citizens, and therefore they (like judges) are held to higher standard and should help remedy any errors that result from our sometimes imperfect system of justice."

 

Man held in son's '04 death ordered freed

Judge cites prosecutorial misconduct in dismissing first-degree murder case

November 20, 2013

Whether Jeffrey Martinson killed his 5-year-old son, Josh, in 2004 may never be determined in a court of law because of prosecutor misconduct in trying his case.

On Tuesday, a Maricopa County Superior Court judge dismissed the first-degree murder indictment against Martinson with prejudice, meaning that Martinson cannot be retried for murder because of the theory of double jeopardy.

Judge Sally Duncan ordered that Martinson be released from jail at noon on Nov.26. She described the prosecutors' actions as "a win-by-any-means strategy."

The Maricopa County Attorney's Office has options to appeal.

"We will review the Judge's allegations as well as refer the record of the proceedings to our Ethics Committee and Appellate section for review," County Attorney Bill Montgomery said in an e-mail to The Arizona Republic. "We will also review the conduct of defense counsel and that of the Judge for appropriate action."

Duncan wrote a 28-page ruling detailing the conduct by the prosecution team, led by Deputy Maricopa County Attorney Frankie Grimsman.

"When viewing the totality of circumstances, the Court finds that during trial the Prosecutors engaged in a pattern and practice of misconduct designed to secure a conviction without regard to the likelihood of reversal," Duncan wrote.

Duncan then detailed the misconduct. The prosecutors had charged Martinson with felony murder, specifically saying that Martinson's son, Josh, died because of child abuse, and then tried the case as if he were charged with intentional, premeditated murder. Grimsman had been warned by Duncan several times over the course of the trial not to do so.

After the conviction was thrown out because of improper testimony from a medical examiner and juror misconduct, Duncan wrote, Grimsman tried to re-indict Martinson for premeditated murder. She then repeatedly tried to get Duncan and the defense attorneys, Michael Terribile and Treasure VanDreumel, removed from the case.

"Accordingly, the prosecutors relentlessly sought to remove defense counsel and the assigned judicial officer specifically to avoid the risk of acquittal during any trial," Duncan wrote.

Criminal cases, especially homicides, are rarely overturned because of misconduct, even in appellate courts. A recent investigation by The Republic found that only two of 82 death sentences in Arizona since 2002 had been overturned on appeal because of prosecutors' actions.

Verdicts are even less frequently overturned with prejudice by a trial court judge.

"I am pleased that judges at the trial-court level are giving credence to allegations of prosecutorial misconduct," VanDreumel said. "Often, it's a paper tiger and they prefer the decision to be made at the appellate level."

Martinson, 47, has been in jail for nine years awaiting a final verdict.

On the night the child died in 2004, Martinson was in a custody battle with his ex-wife. Martinson claimed he found the boy floating in the bathtub and could not resuscitate him. Then, Martinson claimed, in his anguish, he tried to kill himself but failed.

An autopsy showed the boy had muscle relaxants in his bloodstream, and the medical examiner ruled Josh died of a drug overdose.

It appeared to be a murder-suicide, but Martinson was not charged with first-degree premeditated murder, but rather with first-degree felony murder, meaning prosecutors wanted to prove that Josh died during child abuse by Martinson.

Terribile and VanDreumel argued that the death was consistent with drowning and that there was DNA on the bottle of muscle-relaxant tablets that could not be identified but could not be eliminated as coming from the boy. The defense maintained the boy may have taken the tablets himself, and Terribile pointed out that the pills resembled candy.

After several years of changing defense attorneys, Martinson went to trial in July 2011.

Martinson was found guilty in November 2011, and the jury determined there were aggravating factors that made him eligible for the death penalty. But before the jury could sentence Martinson, a juror came forward to tell Terribile and VanDreumel about what was going on in the jury room. The forewoman was accused of browbeating other jurors into finding Martinson guilty. The guilty verdict was thrown out in March 2012.

In fall 2012, Grimsman told the judge that the original indictment and the intent to seek the death penalty had been dropped and that she had asked that another judge and defense team be appointed. Terribile and VanDreumel fought the new charge.

In late 2012, the Arizona Court of Appeals ruled that Grimsman could indeed re-indict Martinson, unless Duncan found that Grimsman had done so in bad faith.

On Tuesday, Duncan made that finding, in addition to the finding of prosecutorial misconduct.

Defending the case had cost taxpayers $2.97 million as of last July, nearly twice the amount paid for the defense of Jodi Arias.


Prosecutor agrees to 90-day suspension

Rebuke for murder-case misconduct is rare sanction

February 19, 2014

Deputy Pinal County Attorney Richard Wintory has agreed to a 90-day suspension from practicing law because of his conduct during a capital- murder case in 2011 while he was an assistant Arizona attorney general.

In that case, Wintory had several inappropriate telephone communications with a confidential intermediary hired by defense attorneys, according to a signed consent agreement between Wintory and the State Bar of Arizona that was filed Friday with the presiding disciplinary judge of the Arizona Supreme Court.

Wintory also did not reveal to the court, the defense attorney or his own supervisors the number of conversations he had with the intermediary.

Wintory, who was Arizona Prosecutor of the Year in 2007, is now chief deputy to Pinal County Attorney Lando Voyles.

In the consent agreement, Wintory "conditionally admits" that he violated the state's Rules of Professional Conduct for attorneys, specifically a rule under the heading of "misconduct" that he engaged "in conduct that is prejudicial to the administration of justice."

Prosecutors are rarely disciplined for misconduct. Wintory entered the agreement rather than face a disciplinary hearing.

The consent agreement notes that "had this matter proceeded to hearing rather than being resolved by consent agreement, the State Bar would have contended that (Wintory) knowingly engaged in dishonest conduct. (Wintory) would have contended that, while negligent, he acted in good faith and had no intention to be dishonest or to deceive the court of his colleagues."

The agreement needs to be approved by the judge.

Wintory was a prosecutor for 20 years in Oklahoma and had a history of allegations of prosecutorial misconduct in death-penalty cases there before he moved to the Pima County Attorney's Office.

In 2010, he took a case against Darren Goldin, who was accused of hiring a hit man to kill a rival drug dealer 10 years earlier. Goldin had already been convicted of second-degree murder for a similar killing in Maricopa County.

Wintory was going for the death penalty against Goldin in the Pima County case. Wintory took the case with him when he moved to the Tucson office of the Arizona attorney general.

Goldin was adopted, and in order to find information about Goldin's family history that might mitigate a potential death sentence, his defense attorney hired a confidential intermediary to locate Goldin's mother.

The intermediary had a falling out with the defense attorney and, in August 2011, contacted Wintory to help her get legal representation so that she could sue the defense attorney.

Wintory spoke to the intermediary several times over the next few weeks, and in an Aug.22, 2011, hearing, he admitted as much. The defense attorney and judge both noted that the contact was inappropriate.

But the intermediary called Wintory again, and he appeared to be evasive when his supervisors questioned him about how many times he had talked to her.

He was taken off the case, which was subsequently pleaded to second-degree murder.

Goldin was sentenced to 11years in prison, a light sentence the judge noted was due in part to "the apparent misconduct allegedly engaged in by the prior prosecutor in this matter."

Wintory and the intermediary denied that anything confidential had been exchanged.

Wintory moved on to serve under Voyles in Pinal County.

In a statement on Tuesday, Voyles said, "I hold sacred the ethical obligations of attorneys. In fact, the entire criminal-justice system depends on the public trust of the institution and our responsibilities as attorneys to abide by the laws and professional rules governing our work. ...

"Richard fully cooperated with the Bar throughout their investigation, and we look forward to the conclusion of this matter."

 

The Lion Hunter, Chapter One:

It was six in the morning, and he’d barely slept because he knew she was coming.  He had a good view of the valley from the little stoop outside the hired-help trailer at his dad’s ranch.  The summertime grass was chest-high. The sun was just coming up and it had streaked the sky in layers of blue and pink and orange, fanned out like an Arizona state flag. A mile down the road he could see the cloud of dust dragging behind her pickup truck. There was a cup of coffee in his hand, but he wasn’t drinking much of it, because he really didn’t want to stay awake much longer than it would take to greet her and then drop into bed with her.

          He was impatient, so it took forever for her pickup to wind up to the trailer. She slammed the door as she jumped out and rooted in the truck bed, tossing tools aside, until she found her green Army-surplus duffel bag. She was giggling, punchy silly, and he knew she’d driven all night to get there.

          “Got off at midnight,” she said. “Wasn’t much more than a campfire that took off running. But since it was inside a campground, we just drove the engine right up to it and squirted it out. Easy stuff.”

          She coughed a smoky firefighter’s cough

          “What time did you get in?” she asked him.

          “Let me put it this way,” he drawled. “It was so late when I got in that the only thing on ESPN was two white guys boxing.”

          “That’s late.” She belly laughed.

          It sounded like a joke, and it could have been, but honest to God, it was true. The Scottish featherweight championship: a couple of scrawny, tattooed guys with Brit names like Nigel and Barry and Graham flailing at each other.

          They laughed as they hugged, and he ran his hand up her back inside her t-shirt. She smelled of grease and wood smoke. He could see soot behind her ears, as if she had just washed the front of her face in the dark in her hurry to get on the road.

          She pushed his hand away.

          “Let me get a shower first,” she said.

          “I’ll be waiting in bed.”

          He threw the last contents of his coffee cup out into the grass.

 

          Lanny. His name was Lanny, Lanny Klegg, and he’d only known the girl for a couple of months, so he was still in those early stages where a soul can’t tell lust from love from some deeper ache, like grief.

          He met her at a funeral, the funeral of his cousin John Peter, who no one ever called “John” or “Johnny,” but always “John Peter.” He was Lanny’s good friend and best playmate as a kid, his closest relative, not just in age, but because they were both “eccentrics,” as his dad put it. The Kleggs were an extended ranching family, but both of these boys had taken up with traditional ranching enemies. Lanny worked for “big government”--the Arizona Game and Fish Department--and John Peter was an environmental lawyer, a term whose very utterance could lower the temperature in any rural household--though he left the grazing lawsuits to his partner, Rock Robbins, and consequently, Robbins got so many threats from pissed-off ranchers that he sometimes wore a gun in a holster, same as they did.

          Even folks who knew them both well never realized that John Peter and Robbins were more than just law partners. They were lovers. Both of them were just so big and ordinary in their demeanor that no one in town ever thought they were anything but a couple of divorced guys who were too busy or too clunky to meet women. And frankly, the townswomen were grateful for that.

          John Peter and Robbins shared a dusty office in downtown Globe, full of books and papers and old dogs that padded up to every person that came in the front door. But they kept separate homes, partly to conceal their sexuality, but also because they’d both lived alone too long to suffer a roommate.

          John Peter had battled melanoma for nearly ten years before it finally killed him. Though he’d had plenty of time to get used to the idea, Lanny was still so upset when John Peter died that he didn’t think he’d get through the funeral service. It was held under a big cottonwood tree next to John Peter’s home, a three-room cabin at scrub-oak elevations that, in contrast to his cluttered office, was so stark and simple as to be zen-like.  The speakers had to shout to be heard over the sound of the creek nearby, but the running water was calming to Lanny, and so was listening to others talk about John Peter with as much respect and love as he felt his cousin deserved.

          Outside the cabin, the neighbors, good country folk, had set up tables loaded with cold cuts and breads and pies and beans. Lanny held his Stetson hat in one hand at his side, though most of the other men and some of the women had worn theirs all through the service and as they sat to eat at the supper tables. He was leaning awkwardly against the side of the cabin trying to make small talk with some lady who wanted to tell him all about her bout with shingles when he heard the music.

          It took a moment to figure out where it was coming from, Debussy, though he didn’t know that, “Clair de lune” on a piano, John Peter’s piano, a haunting tune on the sunniest of days, but achingly beautiful on that emotionally dark one, and Lanny followed it into the cabin.

          She was a vision in a sleeveless summer dress. The first thing he noticed was her arms, taut and beautifully turned, and he knew right away that the muscles came from hard work, not from standing in front of a mirror at the health club. She had long shiny dark hair, and darker eyes, which he noticed when she looked up to see who was there. He nodded. If he’d seen a picture of her, he might not have found her so pretty, but there was something radiating out of her that made her more attractive than anyone he’d met before.    “What’s your name?” she said firmly without stopping playing.

          “Lanny,” he said.

          “That’s an unusual name,” she answered. She was smiling as if at a private joke, and it made Lanny feel like an embarrassed kid.

          “Not around here,” he croaked out. “You must be from out east.”

          “Sort of.”

          “What’s your name?

          “Frida.”

          “We don’t have many of those out in these parts, either.”

          “Good,” she chuckled, without looking up from the keyboard, and he felt his face heating up, sure now that she was making fun of him. The music echoed in the empty little room, filled its space, and trickled out through the cracks in the walls.

          He wanted her to talk to him, but she was looking at the keys, wanted to talk to her, but couldn’t think of a damned thing to say. He was more than a little intimidated, not just by her beauty, but by the firmness in her gaze and the confidence in her voice. She must be smart, too, he figured, judging from the egghead music, and maybe that scared him most of all--scared him and excited him at the same time.

          She didn’t even look back up, and he took that as a dismissal, muttered, “Nice to meet you, miss” in such a small voice that he barely heard it himself and walked out of the room--but not away. Outside the door, he listened until the last notes of the song lingered under the sustainer pedal and finally floated into the hot afternoon air. Then he quickly put his hat on and slipped off to his truck, which he’d had to park a good distance up the forest road because of the crowd of funeral goers, all the time hoping she didn’t see him and think he was some sort of eavesdropping peeper.

          He turned his truck radio on and even that mocked him, a plaintive, melancholy song. The lyrics poked and prodded at every spot that hurt, like a massage in three-quarter time.

          Baby, baby, I could call you baby,

          if I weren’t so empty in the head and tied up in the tongue.

          Baby, baby, I could call you baby,        

          if I weren’t so green and dumb.

          “Green and dumb,” he said aloud to himself. “Ain’t that the truth.”

          A week later he was up at a fire camp near the Grand Canyon. There had been a sizeable blaze, a couple thousand acres of ponderosa pine, and he was supposed to be on hand to answer questions about wildlife.

          “Hey Lanny,” he heard a voice call out. It was a woman, her face black with soot around her goggles, her hair braided down her back and slipping out from under her helmet. He recognized the arms coming out of a rolled up t-shirt; she was shouldering that long-handled pickax they call a Pulaski, and he suddenly realized how she built those muscles.

          “Shit, it’s Frida,” one of the other firefighters cracked. “Hard to tell her from that Pulaski. Both of them got a hatchet on one end and a hoe on the other. Get it?”

          “Yeah, I get it asshole--not that you ever will, and that’s your loss,” she barked.  Immediately turning toward Lanny she said, “See what I put up with?” and he could tell by her voice that she didn’t find it funny.

          They talked for a minute or two, and then both had to get to work. She took the pen from his shirt pocket, grabbed his clipboard, wrote her phone number on a corner of his field notes, and told him to call her if he was ever in Flagstaff. He usually went there a few times a month, but of course, once he had personal reasons to go, his work kept him locked in his office in Phoenix for weeks. He wanted a real reason to be in Flagstaff, just in case her invitation had been one of those things people say, like about having lunch--someday, maybe never.

          It was on his mind, and he found himself talking to John Peter about it—sort of. John Peter had been cremated, and he’d asked Lanny to spread his ashes, somewhere—though he died before he could tell Lanny just where. So they sat in a box on Lanny’s dresser. Lanny was a bit self-conscious about this, and he found himself making apologies out loud to his cousin as to not knowing what to do with him. It was a short step from there to saying “good morning” and “good night” and uttering greetings when he was passing through the room. At times he felt just a bit nuts, but it seemed to ease the pain of losing a best friend, who, in a way, was still there.

          So he was combing his hair in the mirror one morning, hovering over the ashes and thinking about Frida in Flagstaff, when he thought he could hear John Peter’s voice in his head, saying what he always said: “Go on up, Lanny. Buy a bad hat. Get drunk and walk around. It’ll do you a world of good.”

So he worked up the nerve to call her, told her he’d be in town one night and did she want to meet for a beer or something. He was startled at how quickly she said yes. They agreed to meet Sunday night at a country-music dancehall on Route 66.

          He got to town early, so after he checked into a dowager hotel downtown, he drove up to the ski area to waste time, then walked out one of the hiking trails that fan out from the parking lots. A mile in, he found a fallen tree at the uphill end of a meadow--no more than a glade, really--but with enough space between the big Douglas firs that he could watch the sun go down. Then, as it got dark, he hiked back out, went back to his room and showered.

          It was still early, but he went to the bar anyway, and sat, anxious as a schoolboy on a first date, scrutinizing each woman who came in the door, worried he might not recognize her. He was looking so hard that he didn’t see her. She walked up from the other direction and punched him on the arm, the way a guy might punch another guy in a high school gym class.

          That was the only masculine thing about her. She was wearing a black t-shirt and tight jeans and black cowboy boots. Her hair was just as loose and shiny as he remembered. She didn’t seem to be wearing any makeup at all, and didn’t seem to need any, the way she glowed. He could feel the energy radiating out of her, tingly, wild and curious at the same time, like a young horse, and he worried that if he moved too fast, he’d spook her, and she’d gallop away before he got close enough to slip a rope over her neck.

          The bar was loud, the music louder, and that was a relief to him, because he was as tongue-tied as he’d been at John Peter’s funeral. She pulled him out to the dance floor, and that was fine, too, because it kept him from having to speak. He knew enough about dancing to let the woman do what she wanted while standing there, appearing to lead.

          As the bar cleared, he walked her to her truck and bent down for a formal little peck on the lips. She snickered. He blushed and said goodnight--then beat himself up all the way back to his hotel. He had a grim little room, not much more than a rickety bed frame, a chair and a TV set, which he turned on, hoping for the news.

          “Lanny.” He heard his name, from outside. “Lanny,” a woman’s voice calling as if she were lost.

          He opened the window and stuck his head out. She was down on the sidewalk, her arms wrapped around herself. He got a big knot in his stomach.

          “I’m freezing,” she said when she saw him peering out. “What room are you in?”

          A moment later she was at the door.

          “Sorry,” she said. “I’m too drunk to drive back to my place. Can I stay here until I sober up?”

          Of course she could, in his wildest dreams. He stepped aside to let her in, almost stumbling over his own feet.

          “I’m freezing, Lanny,” she said, a bit more insistent. “Do you have something warm I can put on?”

          He rooted in his valise and pulled out a flannel shirt. She peeled off her t-shirt, and then struggled with the inside-out sleeves of the shirt he’d just given her. Lanny wondered why she just didn’t put it on over the t-shirt--but only for a second, because he was gawking at her. Her abdomen was as tight as her biceps. Her breasts weren’t large, but they were fuller than he expected, welling up out of a black lace bra with her breathing. He wanted to explore every inch of her body with every inch of his.

          She felt his gaze and looked up with an embarrassed expression and said “Sorry,” as she pulled the shirt on and buttoned it.

          “Sorry for what?”

          She looked a bit exasperated.

          “Lanny,” she said. “I’m starting to wonder if you’re some kind of a homo. What the hell do I have to do to get you to make a pass at me?”

          “Christ,” he thought, “here she is, waving me on, like the guy at the airport with those big orange things guiding the plane into the gate, and I’m trying so fucking hard to be a gentleman, that I can’t even see her.”

          He put his arms around her and kissed her the way he should have kissed her when they were standing in the bar parking lot, and he couldn’t remember much of what happened next. It was an out-of-body experience, detached, a sudden coming to, looking up at her face--her eyes closed forcefully, her jaw set, like she was working hard to focus every bit of her strength and energy on where they were joined together at the pelvis. Her lithe body was rocking fast and rhythmically, and he suddenly realized that with her every thrust, the headboard banged hard against the wall, and everyone in the building would wake up and hear the drumbeat of their lust. But so what? He surrendered to her right then and there.

 

From the trailer’s bedroom window, Lanny could see the width of the valley. The mountains in the distance were on the other side of the Mexican border, maybe 20 miles south. In this part of Arizona, the border itself was just a barbed-wire fence that cut through a pasture. A hundred years ago, the ranches used to straddle the line; people and cattle crossed at will. But that had ended with Arizona’s statehood early in the 20th century. Mexico took its lands away from the families that had already ranched them for generations. Now, it was still easy to cross over, but to go where? The Mexican federales camped in their trucks just a mile or so down the dirt roads that went from one nation to the next, relicts of that earlier time. You didn’t want to tangle with those boys, machine-gun-toting youngsters, some of them. And back then, not many Mexicans tried to sneak into this part of Arizona. The mountains were too high, the expanses too great.

          Lanny suddenly realized that the shower had turned off and he shifted to watch her come out of the bathroom, still glistening, her hair wrapped in one towel, her torso in another. She rooted through his valise and pulled out the same flannel shirt she’d borrowed on the night they first slept together. When she dropped the towel around her, he caught a quick glimpse of the long lines of her waist as it curved into her hips.

          She buttoned about half of the shirt buttons and then slid into bed next to him, her back, her legs, the length of her body warm and silky. He ran his hand up her thigh, along her waist, working his fingers up the knot of muscle next to her spine.

          She was already breathing deeply, and he realized she’d fallen asleep. But she had a smile on her face, and so he left her alone, and within minutes, he was asleep, too.


Speaking English, chapter one:

Back then, you used to worry about getting mugged in that neighborhood. Now you have to worry about getting run down by a $1200 baby stroller pushed by some yuppie hopped up on Starbucks Coffee.

          My brother-in-law Pauly kept telling me it was going to happen, that the neighborhood was going to get better, but I didn’t believe him. He had this little bungalow about a mile west of where Sofi and I lived on Chicago’s North Side.

          “I’m tellin’ ya, the neighborhood’s changing,” he told me then.

          “The only thing that’s going to change around here is the condition of your car—and for the worst—especially if you park it on the street,” I answered. “Take a picture of your hub caps so you’ll have something to remember them by, because they’re going to be gone.”

          He held onto his upscale fantasy even on the day we stood looking at the gang graffiti on his garage door, those big triangular letters favored by the Nort’Side Latin Locos street gang, though I could never make out what they said. As far as I was concerned, that was proof that things were in decline. He was boiling mad, but he wasn’t going to let it change his rosy outlook. In fact, he set out that very moment to clean things up with a little de facto community cleansing.  I walked the alleys with him for half the afternoon until he found some skinny 20-year-old with Nort’Side tattooed on his back beneath the straps of his wife-beater T-shirt.

          Pauly grabbed the kid by the arm and said, “I don’t like what you wrote on my garage door, and if it happens again, I’m gonna be looking for you.”

          The kid stuttered in protest.

          “I didn’t do it,” he said.

          Pauly rolled his eyes, turned to me and said, “He says he didn’t do it.” Then he shook the kid and said,    “You don’t understand. “If it happens again I’m going to come looking for you.”

          “But I didn’t do it,” the kid insisted. Pauly shook him harder. “I think he’s hard of hearing,” he said to me. Then to the kid: “You still don’t understand,” he said without raising his voice. “If it happens again, I’m going to come looking for YOU!”

          When he was angry, Pauly had an air about him that you didn’t want to breathe in, lest you burn your lungs. The kid obviously felt it. He still spat defiantly on the alley bricks to save face when Pauly let him go. But Pauly never had to paint over any more letters on his garage door  

          And damn, if the neighborhood didn’t change. Pauly’s little house is worth a half million now, and I wish I’d bought the one next door, like he tried to make me. I joke that he’s hardly even Italian anymore, what with all those rich and fancy folks-- “gentrified,” they call them--all around him. Now, if he were a soft drink he’d be “Dago Lite,” another sparkling yuppie water with just the slightest hint of Italian flavor.

          But Italian nonetheless: He used to joke about all the Dagos in the old neighborhood with their big Cadillacs parked in front of their shitty little houses, as if he were so much less provincial. Now he’s got a Land Rover parked in front of his shitty little house.

          Sofi and I had been married for what?--eight?--years when the accident happened. We’d known each other about two years before that. I was in grad school when we met, and she has always seemed a breath of serenity to me. And I’ve always loved her name: Esperanza Sofía Delgadillo. Esperanza means “hope” in Spanish, and that is what she has always been for me, my hope and my reality. But it’s a big name to carry around and a mouthful to say, so everyone has always called her Sofi.  She was a Chicago girl, sort of, born in Puerto Peñasco, a raggedy little beach town on the Gulf of California in the Mexican state of Sonora, just an hour south of Arizona. She came to Chicago as a child with her parents. Her father started a well known chain of Mexican restaurants called Humberto’s, and he did well enough to send her to the University of the Midwest to study nursing, and that’s where we met.      

          I came from the East Coast, and I really didn’t want to go back there, so I won’t bore you with that part of my life. I tend to ramble on as it is, Lord knows, and I’ve got enough to tell you without it. Anyway, when Sofi got her RN, I dropped out of the doctoral program in Spanish lit at Midwestern U. and traveled with her to Mexico to live with her grandparents for a year, and that was just fine with me. Then Sofi got homesick for her parents and we moved to Chicago, found an apartment and a job for Sofi at Ravenswood Hospital which was so close that she could walk there if the weather wasn’t too ugly.

          I’d been an English teacher in Mexico, and for a year I taught Spanish at the Catholic school at the end of our block, but it bored me, and I started writing freelance stories for this local rag called The Chicago Tattler, which was run by a rat bastard named Mick Headly--though his employees usually called him Dick Headly. He had dropped out of college to start up the paper as an anti-Vietnam rant. But of course, as these things usually go, by the time I met him he’d already turned into one of the very people he started the paper to protest against. Even as he professed allegiance to the proto-typical common man he referred to as “Joe Six-Pack,” he liked to brag about his Corvette, his condo in Aspen and his Malibu beach house. I mostly wrote for him long enough to get clips to present to real magazines and then launched a run of adventure-travel stories in Canada, Europe, the U.S. West and South America, but I’m getting ahead of myself. I thought I was something, and maybe I was. It left some marks on me, so to speak: matching craters on my shoulder, front and back, where the bullet passed through, and a nasty scar on my leg from the surgeries I needed to knit the bones back together. Now and then I still wake up in the middle of the night, sit straight up, startled, thinking I’m in a hut in the Amazon again and wondering who in the hell is the woman in bed with me. Then I realize it’s only Sofi, sweet, sweet Sofi, and after a while, when my heart stops pounding, I fall back to sleep.

          My recollection of every conversation in those days seems like it’s strained through a foreign accent. Sofi’s parents only spoke Spanish, and Sofi’s English had an enchanting Latin lilt, though otherwise, she spoke it perfectly—or maybe better than perfect since I loved her accent. I had a bunch of names back then: Pauly called me “Mikey.” Sofi called me “Miggy,” which was short for “Miguelito” which is what everyone called me in grad school. When she was in a joking mood, she called me “Guero,” which sounds like “Where-oh,” a Mexican word meaning “Blondie”; the Mexicans used guero to refer to light-haired Mexicans or Anglos in general, kind of like when the Blacks used to call us “Whitey,” except without the edge or the intended insult. Rudy, whom I worked for, called me “Mischa” or “Mischa-batchi,” the latter part added for respect. But Rudy’s three-year-old son, who drew hard lines between his father’s Hungarian friends and his English-speaking friends, would say, “That’s no batchi, that’s Mike.”

          Rudy was the janitor in our big apartment building, a little boiler-chested trickster, five-four and 165 pounds at most, a guy who never seemed to give a straight answer to any question. He worked a building down the block, owned another up in Ravenswood, and took care of a couple more in Greek Uptown that were owned by his aunt. He could do carpentry, plumbing, painting, electrical work and who knew what else. When his wife, Nadia, went into labor with their second child, the baby came so quickly that they didn’t have time to get to the hospital, so Rudy, the ultimate handyman, delivered it in his bathtub, cut the cord with a kitchen knife and took care of everything.

          But his judgment was sometimes seriously fucked-up, even though he never seemed to get in trouble. He was always starting arguments with cashiers at the hardware store, and each time, he’d get them so flustered that he’d walk away with $20 change for an item he’d paid for with a ten-dollar bill.

          We were riding in his old Pontiac once and he gave the finger to some tough guy who’d just cut him off. The tough started chasing us, and when he pulled up alongside, Rudy took his son’s toy cowboy gun off the front seat and pointed it out the window.

          I squished down in the passenger seat waiting to die, but the tough guy was just as scared. He hit the gas and spun away, right as a police officer put on his party lights and pulled Rudy over. The cop jumped out of the car, drew his own gun and pointed it with two hands as he did a crouching Groucho-Marx walk up to the driver’s side window. Rudy was unfazed, and when the cop saw that it was just a cap gun, he started laughing and let Rudy off without so much as a ticket. If it were you or me, we’d be hauled off to the slammer, but Rudy had a charm about him.

          It never really made sense to me that I ended up working for Rudy, given how different we were and what different backgrounds we came from.

          I’d recovered physically from the “accident,” but I still couldn’t get my head in gear to do much more than walk the dog down Clark Street and watch people slip on the ice. We had a big snowfall that winter, and I was unexplainably seized with the desire to do something strenuous after months of lying around, so I asked Rudy if I could help shovel the snow.

          “You push that like you grew up onna farm,” he told me. “Lotta city boys they don’t even know how to use a shovel.”

          Well, OK, I mean, how hard is it to use a snow shovel? But, whatever.  Then Rudy asked if I wanted to help him now and then. And I didn’t, really.

          One evening about a week later, there was a knock at my back door, and it was Rudy. Simon, the dog barked, then when he saw Rudy, he licked his hand and then pushed by him and scrambled down the steps to take a long leak against a telephone pole in the alley. Technically, I wasn’t supposed to have a dog, but Rudy seemed to ignore that fact at first.

          “Whatch his name?” he asked.

          “Simon,” I told him. We pronounced it the Spanish way, and it was a bit of a joke. The chavos, or young Mexican dudes, said “simón” as an emphatic way of saying “yes.” Instead of sí, they said “see-MOAN,” hitting the second syllable hard and dragging it out. In effect it meant “you-betcha” or “yessirree” or “frickin’-A” or something like that, and it fit the dog, because like any Labrador retriever, he was always so enthusiastically ready for anything, whether going to the lake for a swim or taking the garbage bags down the dumpster in the alley. It had been a challenge getting Sofi to accept him at first, because Mexicans from Mexico don’t really understand the concept of having an animal in the house, let alone in an apartment. But I insisted, and eventually, Sofi warmed to him.

          “You know, you lease says no dogs, right?” Rudy said in a conspiratorial voice.  “But I don’t say nothin’, because you my friend and he seem like a nice dog.” He kind of had me over the barrel, and it was his set-up for what he asked next. He had a lot of work to do the next day, and he was willing to pay me to help. The dog raced back upstairs, shivering and ran back into the kitchen.

          Rudy and I stood there on the third-floor landing for a long instant looking around for something to soften the awkwardness of the moment. There was a shiny new BMW parked in the fire lane beneath the stairs and Rudy asked if I knew whose it was.

          “Yeah, it belongs to that jackass in unit 3,” I answered.

          “So he gotta new car,” Rudy snorted. “I told him three times not to park there.”

          I’d had words of my own with the fellow. He’d asked me once to help him carry a couple of air conditioning units down to the basement and said he’d pay me twenty bucks. I guess I looked indigent or something, but I was bored enough to say yes, and then with the chore done, he told me he’d pay later and then never did.         When I told that story to Rudy, he changed subjects.

          There was a monster icicle hanging from the roof above my back porch, as thick around as my leg and probably six feet long. It loomed dangerously over the alley.

          “You know, if that icicle break, it could hurt somebody,” Rudy said.

          I’d left my kitchen broom on the landing outside my door, and without another word, Rudy picked it up and poked at the icicle right where it hung from the rain gutter. It let go with a sliding crack, broke into three chunks and landed with a cymbal crash. When we looked over the railing, the BMW had a bird-bath-sized indentation in the hood and the ice chunks were spread around the front of the car.

          Rudy acted like nothing happened. I didn’t say anything, but I appreciated the outlaw attitude of the gesture, and I decided right then to work for him.

          Later that evening I was having a beer in Pauly’s refinished basement, and when I told him about my decision, Pauly took me to task.

          “All that education and you’re going to be a janitor? What the hell is that all about?” he said.

          Fortunately, I didn’t have to answer. Pauly was sitting on a stool behind his wood-paneled bar, flipping through channels when a soft-porn channel flashed on. His big-screen filled with a soft-focus image of a nude woman cavorting with a muscular man in a sudsy bathtub.

          “Jesus, will you look at that,” he said.

          I looked, and my glasses might have steamed up.

          “Christ, I’d pay money just to see those tits,” Pauly said, squirming on his stool to get a better look. “That guy’s getting paid... to suck them!”

          He rolled his eyes and snorted, “Where the hell was I on career day?”

          My new career was forgotten by Pauly.

          Sofi had nothing bad to say about it because we needed the money and she was so happy I was doing something more productive than hanging out with Simon the dog.

          And so was I. It was better than thinking. And the work was easy.         Every day, I’d shovel snow and vacuum the hallways in the building I lived in and one other, make sure the garbage stayed in the dumpsters and occasionally do painting or other minor repairs. I’d spend every afternoon in the basement of the building down the block, manning the garbage chute and shoveling its contents into the furnace. I’m sure it was illegal to burn trash, but no one really seemed to notice.

          The tenants all seemed to think that the chute went into some forever unseen chasm, perhaps directly into the furnace, and they threw down all sorts of ungodly delights, usually with enough detritus--an envelope maybe--that would betray who the owner was. An attractive young nurse upstairs, for example, dumped a box full of hard-core porn, parts of the text underlined in red as if she had studied it carefully for a college class. An old lady threw out naked photos of her and her boyfriend, and I couldn’t get them into the furnace fast enough.

          I had to stay on my toes: Every now and then I’d have to dive out of the way when I’d hear the angry slide of incoming garbage roaring down the open chute, and I was unable to close the trap door quickly enough. It would hurl against the cinder block wall directly across, shattering bottles, spreading slop and exploding plastic bags, all of which I’d shovel into the furnace, too.

          Mostly Rudy paid me to keep him company, filling me with his half-baked philosophy as we rode around town in his big old Pontiac, breaking language barriers.

From Another Monk's Tale

1. How I was exiled to Italy

She was lovely. I don’t know how I could have reacted any differently.

          Her eyes were mahogany, alive and burning, her hair the color of whiskey, her skin so cinnamon, her breasts the size of cannon balls. I could only imagine how large and brown and hard her nipples would be.        

          She had a slight lilt of Mexican accent when she spoke English, and her Spanish was just as disarming, from Chihuahua, like my parents, and when she pronounced the name of her home state, it came out soft and silky, “Shee-wah-wah,” in that norteña accent that colors the best memories of my adolescence.

          I’m not one of those old fools who thinks he has a chance with the young women who prey on gray-haired men in bars, exchanging flirtatious glances and an illusion of seduction for an outrageous bar tab. But I know how to have a conversation with a woman of any age, and I know when she is laying it out there, probing, trying to see if I want to take her to bed, not that she necessarily wants to end up there, but perhaps just to see if she could. And more than once, perhaps more than a hundred times, it has happened.

          I’m sorry. I’m not proud of it, and as you will see shortly, it’s gotten me in trouble, but I was an old Don Juan, faded perhaps, a lapsed Catholic. Who would have thought I’d turn into a lovesick pilgrim and an accidental mystic? I love women, and they have told me many times that I was handsome, though I never really saw it. I detest the folds and wrinkles, the turkey wattle neck and age spots, the ever more prominent gray hairs that assault me when I look in the mirror.

          Still, I had some principles — or I thought I did anyway. I never, ever slept with students, didn’t even flirt with them. I’d figured that one out 30-some years ago when I was still a graduate student teaching assistant. The women were only interested so long as you were their instructor, that is, their path to a better grade. Or maybe they were impressed by the position of authority or some such, but either way, by the next semester they would have moved on to someone else. It wasn’t worth the risk or the heartache.

          But I had known this girl for years. She was at least 25, and she had been my student from the time she was 18 until she was 22. I felt I had mentored her—though secretly I always thought she was one of the most beautiful women I had ever known. I trusted her implicitly. And she hadn’t been my student for years. My intentions were pure, I swear.

          She called me, asking to meet for a drink, said she wanted me to write a letter of recommendation for graduate school, and I didn’t think a thing of it. We met at a popular wine bar with an outdoor patio and sat at the bar on a perfect spring evening in Phoenix, Arizona. But her grad-school plans seemed half baked, and she seemed to want to talk about other things, and of course I let her. As I said, I was very fond of her and happy to spend the time with her.

          “Professor Bradomin,” she started, and I don’t even remember if she finished the question, because I stopped her.

          “Call me Mark,” I said. “I’m not your professor anymore.”

          She smiled and blushed alluringly. Her hand brushed my thigh. I noticed, but assumed it must have been an accident, until it happened again. And again. She was smirking, looking down, and I had the feeling that something was happening. She told me about her new boyfriend, about her uncertainty about moving in with him, because she felt she wanted to experiment with other people. I kept my mouth shut, because it would have been easy to assume too much.

          She took the offensive. “Have you ever cheated on your wife, Professor, I mean, Mark?” she asked. The directness caught me off guard, and I almost coughed out the answer.

          “It has happened,” I confessed. She smiled again. My face was pleasantly warm, the wine had taken down my guard, and I had that slow all-over tingle, thinking that maybe this night would have an unbelievably pleasant ending. Or that I had committed a horrible gaffe.

          “I didn’t know you were a player,” she said.

          “Well no,” I protested, suddenly uncomfortable.

          She struck again before I regained composure.

          “What would you do if I propositioned you?” she asked.

          I sighed.

          “I would be powerless,” I said, and it was the first completely honest thing I had said all evening.

          Then, apparently satisfied with what she had learned, she suddenly noticed the time, and still smiling, kissed me on the cheek, hugged me warmly, grabbed her bag and started out. Heads turned at the bar, the men smiling knowingly, the women my age raising disapproving eyebrows.

          “Call me,” I said.

          “I will.”

          I passed the week in a state of nervous exhaustion, waiting for the phone to ring, and of course it didn’t, which only convinced me that I’d let the wine and the girl get to me in ways I shouldn’t have. I was a fool. I had succumbed to fantasy. What would a lovely young woman want with an old man like me? The answer still astonishes me.

          Friday afternoon, at last, the phone rang, but when I answered, it was not the girl, it was Teresa, the dean, my boss.

          “Mark? I need to see you immediately.”

          She sounded grim. We’d worked together for more than 20 years, and for several of those, while she was still a professor, we’d been lovers, but the affair had worked its way though without drama or rancor. She’d been my boss for only six months or so.

          When I knocked at her office door, she was on the phone, and she waved me in and signaled for me to close the door.

          “He’s here now,” she said to someone on the other end of the line, then hung up and exhaled purposefully. I sat waiting, confused. She plopped a newspaper down on the desk between us without a word. It was an independent student publication called The Bomb Dropper, and there on the cover was my photograph under the headline “Player Professor.”

          “Popular Spanish literature professor Marcos Bradomin admits that he cheats on his wife and finds himself powerless before his female students,” it began. I recoiled first at the bad prose, then realized I was finished. It went on to detail the supposed affairs I’d had with students in the past—lies and rumors all of it, though I had been falsely linked to students over the years. Among those I was rumored to have abused was a student who said I gave her a bad grade after I came on to her. That accusation made my face pucker; she’d gotten a bad grade because she didn’t do the work and then had tried to flirt her way into at least a B, but I would have nothing of it. Besides, she repulsed me.

          But I was guilty on some other counts with women who were not my students: the article mentioned Teresa the dean, which I’m sure sealed my fate. There was a waitress who’d once asked me to come home with her and then cried all during sex because she had just broken up with her boyfriend.

          Then there were several women I’d never heard of, and the whole narrative was amateurishly tied together with snippets of my conversation with my lovely student, which she had obviously taped.

          “This is mostly crap,” I said, trying to keep down the lump in my stomach and mustering all the indignation I could find.

          “Maybe,” Teresa said. “But I know you Mark, all too well, and I can’t take chances.”

          It took a moment to sink in that since her name was mentioned in the story as well, that I would be taking a hit for her, too. I looked over the story again, reading about how I had betrayed my principles, my students, my… wait, just who had betrayed whom here? But it didn’t matter. I was finished.

          “How soon do you want me to resign?” I asked.

          “Immediately.”

          By the time I had cleaned out my office, the story had been on the five o’clock news. The university had put out a release stating that Lothario behavior would not be tolerated on campus. And every TV channel in town seemed to be running a special report about people in positions of influence who pressured women into relationships under threat of their careers. I had never pressured a woman for sex in my life. I had always let them come to me. And though I have never understood it, they did come.

          And go.

          My wife was waiting for me in the kitchen of our house.

          “You slept with Teresa,” she screamed. I wanted to answer that I didn’t remember the last time she and I had slept together, but I kept quiet.

          “You pig,” she screamed.

          I thought about how when a Mexican woman calls you cochino, which means “pig,” it’s almost flirtatious. But when an Anglo woman like my ex-wife calls you a pig, it’s over. I was out of the house that very evening, and that was that.

          The divorce papers were served within days. Whatever! The house sold at a major loss. Again: Whatever! I had cash in my pocket and nowhere to go, until I thought of Paola, another former lover from years back.

          And having said that, I’m embarrassed, because it’s starting to sound as if I’ve bedded every woman I ever knew. Paola was a friend from my school days. After I got my master’s degree, I spent a semester in England, studying at Oxford. Paola was there working on a master’s degree in English and second-language teaching techniques. She was blonde, in a very Italian way, and she liked to have sex so often that I sometimes would hide from her. Once I even had to climb out a window while she slept to escape. But she’d ferret me out after class and lead me back to her room, hold me hostage — and Italians are very good at taking hostages — to have her way with me again and again. We made love in English and in Italian and then English and Italian again. I lost 15 pounds that semester, and then, when we both went home — me to Arizona and she to Città di Castello in Umbria — we kept in touch for six or seven months. But then we found other things to occupy our time, like degrees and jobs and spouses.

          I had last run into Paola about a year before the disaster, at a language-instruction conference in Zurich, where I was giving a paper. She leapt at me when she saw me. At first I thought it must have been my birthday when an attractive 40-something blonde with an Italian accent threw her arms around my neck and jumped into my arms, wrapping her legs around me. But I knew the kiss, the smell, the very Paola-ness of her. We tried hard to act like adults as we shared a bottle of wine in a hotel bar.

          “How are you?” I asked, an obvious question.

          “I’m older,” she said. “Come tu, like you.” I felt a bit sad at the reminder, especially when sitting across from a memory of younger and freer times.

          “My teets aren’t as good as they used to be.”

          “Oh really?” I asked. “How exactly are they?”

          “They are, how do you say, longer?”

          “Well, no, that’s not how you say, but I think I know what you mean.” I took a sip of wine and looked away. “However, I’ll need proof before I believe it,” I said, deadpan.

          Paola smirked and leaned across the table. She grabbed my hand. “Dai!” she said, “Let’s go.”

          I had a single room, and she was sharing with her business partner at her language school in Città di Castello, so we went to my room.

          “Do we need a condom?” I asked, trying to be responsible.

          “Do you think I am going to get pregnant at our age?” she said. There was an appealing logic to it, that is, if I had to admit I was getting old.

          We spent most of the evening making love, wrestling and grappling in bed, like old times. I made it to the session I was presenting, but that was it. The rest of the trip I spent with Paola, letting myself be taken hostage again and again. And then the trip was over. But she had planted an idea that came to me in my hour of disgrace.

          “Come to Italy and work for me,” she said. “You can teach English and Spanish. I will pay you well and fuck you even better.”

          At the time, I thought it would never happen. But that was then. In my new desperate state, I called Paola. She was surprised to hear from me, surprised that I would take her up on her offer, and when I told her what had happened, she laughed long and loud. Then she asked, “How soon can you be here?”


Separating the Writer from the Writing

When we are moved by something we read, for better or for worse, in pleasure or rage or boredom, we tend to make assumptions about the person who wrote it.

I assume that most writers write out of life experience, because I do. My fiction, especially, comes out of things I've seen and heard over a lifetime, and some of my fictional characters come a little closer to who I am than do my journalism subjects.

But they are not me. Rather, they may be more of who I wish I were -- or who I'm afraid I'll turn into.

I should know better, but I have trouble separating writers from their writing. I'm thinking about a novel I read 30 or more years ago, whose title I don't want to mention, but whose main character had outsized thumbs that made her a hitch-hiking prodigy. I loved the novel -- until I met its author at a book signing and found him to be condescending. Maybe I was mistaken. Maybe one or both of us was having a bad day, but I couldn't force myself through his next novel. Conversely, I was lukewarm about the novels of Jerzy Kosinski, until I met him and had a long conversation about writing in a foreign language (Kosinski was Polish, but wrote in English). I eagerly read everything else he wrote.

In the late 1970s, I was somewhere between a master's degree and dropping out of a doctoral program in Spanish literature at the University of Michigan, when I met the Argentine writer, Jorge Luis Borges. Several grad students in the Spanish department had been invited to meet with him at a reception. Borges, who was blind, and who was already ancient, sat in an easy chair -- we sat on random chairs and even the carpet at his feet -- as he told rambling old-man stories about gauchos. Though we all spoke Spanish, he told his stories in English, in a Welsh accent actually, that he had inherited from his mother.

The next day, Borges gave a lecture at the university, or rather, he sat on stage and let people in the audience ask questions, which he would answer with responses as labyrinthine as his short stories. Instead of the Welsh accent, he now spoke with a decidedly Hispanic inflection. Then someone asked about his story, "Borges and I," in which he hinted at being himself and yet having to deal with the famous persona known as Borges, and it became clear that right then and there onstage he was playing the role of Borges the writer. Which one was really him?

Ten years ago, I was invited to read from one of my books at a bookstore near Phoenix, and I was paired with a young writer who had just published her first novel and was an ascending literary star. She had been invited to work on her book a a prestigious writer's colony, and to her great luck and credit, the book had already been designated as "important" by the gatekeepers at her New York Midtown Publisher and the literary press. Out of respect as much as curiosity, I went out and bought her book to get a feel for the writer I would soon be meeting.

I wanted to like the book, but I didn't. It seemed obvious to me, a bit presumptuous, in that way of someone trying to appear wiser than she really was. I decided to put it aside so that, in the event she asked me how I liked it, I could say, "Oh, I haven't finished it yet."

Of course, she didn't ask. She couldn't have cared less about what I thought of her book, and she had no intention of reading mine.

And that was OK; I liked her anyway -- immensely. She told stories about meeting her equally illustrious writer husband because they shared a publisher of their Dutch translations. It seemed a marvelous adventure for a young writer, and I was happy for her. I vowed to go back and finish her book.

But I still hated it, and I didn't get one chapter farther into it. Oh well.

Hanging with hags at the Belalp Hexe

I would have kissed her if I could have squeezed my lips between the points of her chin and her nose. She could sense my frustration, and it excited her.

Later, she purred as she stroked my chest.

She was as white and pockmarked as the sparse January snow in Belalp, Switzerland, the ugliest woman I ever fell for. But love is always a slippery slope; who knows if she was really beautiful beneath all that makeup?

She wore a white fright wig and white false eyelashes, a pointed black witch hat, and she carried a hags broom that she used as a ski pole. She and her friends, maybe 10 cloned from the same coven, hopped over and around the rocks as if those short skis were part of their feet.

I was pretty green in the face myself, and not from the altitude or the wine I drank the night before. One of the local frauleins had lovingly applied a thick layer of greasepaint on my cheeks and forehead so that I would be undercover on the slopes, free to be as bad an actor as I am a skier.

The Belalp Hexe, a Witches Descent, is an annual mid-January ski race. Or rather, its a costume ball on skis, disguised as a race.

Oh sure, there were a few overly anal sorts in speed suits, acting as if they actually wanted to win the thing 12 kilometers from the top of the slopes to the village of Blatten if the snow coverage permits. But about 700 of the 1,200 skiers that day were dressed in witch costumes, some more elaborate than others. Friends came in dressed-alike groups, with orange faces, brown faces, white faces, green faces. Here and there, someone had a stuffed raven on his shoulder. Nearly everyone had a bottle or a flask in a pocket, or a backpack pumper tank filled with a sweet, neon-green fizz that went down your throat with hundred-proof heat.

My white Wiccan raised a wine skin toward my face. Open der bouche, she ordered, before she squirted apricot brandy into my mouth.

Bonus, I whispered, Shes trilingual.

If youve never heard of Belalp, thats because its just a spare little day-area in the Upper Valais region near the city of Brig, about four hours south of Zurich by train. The slopes border the Aletsch Glacier, a frozen river at the bottom of a chasm that has been named a UNESCO World Natural Heritage Site. Across the gorge, Riederalp, Bettmeralp and Fiescheralp are interconnected little ski villages with über-Swiss hotels and restaurants that cater to German families on holiday and can only be reached by aerial tram in the winter.

Hexe means witch, of course. And though the race is mostly an excuse to party, its allegedly based on the local legend of an adulterous witch who turned herself into a crow and bombed her pious husband with bird poop, hitting him right in the eyes. He, to his great misfortune, was climbing an apple tree at the time. He fell and died. She was burned at the stake. So obviously, that makes everyone want to drink and ski and race and party. Me included.

As I slid to the start, my white witch sidled up to me and shook her broom at me menacingly. I vill be at your side, making fire up your arsh, she said.

She was a bit loose with the vernacular, but I knew she was just flirting. The witch!

From Swiss Seasons

 

Will technology be the death of history?

I'm not a Luddite -- you're reading this online, after all, and you got here from Twitter or Facebook -- but I worry that technology will be the death of history.

Even in an era when we are bombarded with instant news reports and we chronicle every moment on Facebook and Instagram, taking selfies, noting how we feel and where we are eating and maybe even posting a photo of breakfast, lunch or dinner, it is only that: Of The Moment.

Where do those momentary chronicles go, who stores them, and who will view them a day, a week, a month, a century from now? What good will they do toward understanding who we were and why? And how many of them will just remain locked in last years machine, inaccessible to next years software?

In 2001, Laurence Bergreen published Over the Edge of the World, a fascinating book about Ferdinand Magellan's 16th Century voyage around the globe. Bergeen based the book largely on journal accounts by several of the explorers on Magellan's ships, which he found preserved in libraries in Madrid and Lisbon and Rome. They were first-person accounts that made the narrative real and relevant, illustrating the fund-raising and bureaucracy of getting the boats in the water, and the organizational hassle of dealing with hundreds of weary sailors who would rather have remained in the tropical paradises of the Caribbean among beautiful, naked and willing native women than pile back into leaky little boats to face scurvy and likely death. The fact that there were so many journalists among the sailors was in itself remarkable. The voyage took place at a time when few people knew how to read or write, and to have that many learned men aboard showed that the best and brightest had been sent forth for a scientific coup that had great political and economic import.

My 2002 book, Chasing the Panda, told the life stories of Quentin and Jack Young, Chinese-American brothers who were bring-'em-back alive hunters in China in the 1930s and who were instrumental in bringing the first giant panda out of China to the United States.

Both brothers were still alive in the 1980s, when I did the bulk of my research, but one was in his 70s and the other in his 80s. Not only did they have fading memories, but they fought with each other like jealous adolescents, each downplaying the others exploits.

But we would page through their photo albums together, and they would recall moments of fear or pleasure: a desperate night when they drew guns on each other in a blizzard in Sichuan; the time when they were guests of the princess of Kantze Sikong, a primitive tribeswoman in a bowler hat whom they dazzled with flashlights and other modern marvels; how they met the American socialite, Ruth Harkness, who almost made them famous, even as she made them miserable.

 There was a wealth of letters that Jack and Quentin and their friends, employers and rivals had written to and about each other archived at The Field Museum in Chicago, The New York Museum of Natural History, The Bronx Zoo, and other places. I read them there and made copies which I later showed to the Young brothers to further jog their memories. Often, they had forgotten what they had written.

In the libraries at Northwestern and Arizona State Universities, I found old books and journals and magazines that chronicled their exploits when they were dashing young men, which helped fill in other lapses in their memories.

Who writes letters nowadays? The Young brothers and their associates and enemies had to, to keep in touch with their relatives and their bosses at the museums for which they collected. They had long hours out in the field to do so. Who keeps journals now?

I write emails and Tweets and Facebook posts. When I cover the Jodi Arias trial as a newspaper reporter, I don't even take notes. Instead, I narrate events on Twitter, then use those tweets and the feedback from my followers to put together online and newspaper stories. Where will those Tweets be in ten years?

Books are increasingly digital; the bookstores are closed. A disturbing 1996 New Yorker article described how the San Francisco Public Library had sent 200,000-some books to landfills to clear shelf space. The main criterion for disposal was whether the books had been lent out recently. I doubt anyone had checked out Trailing the Giant Panda by the sons of Theodore Roosevelt or Land of the Eye, books that I used for my research on Chasing the Panda. They would have been goners. Magazines? Journals? Likely replaced by blogs.

My photographs are no longer tangible images in boxes or albums. They are ephemeral pixels stored in my phone and my iPad, and hopefully most of them will still be floating in The Cloud in a year or two, when those gadgets fail. Other photos have already been turned into digital ghosts locked in desktop PCS that no longer work, backed up to CDs that broke or erased themselves and won't fit into any computer drives within a year or two, anyway.

Truth be told, I can't even access many of the materials I created while writing the Chasing the Panda. The manuscripts are buried in out-dated computers that no longer function, on floppy disks or diskettes or CDs that, if any data remains on them, can no longer be slotted into any modern machine. When I reissued the book in paperback in 2012, I still had the production CDs from the hard-cover edition, but the software had gone obsolete in those ten years, and my designer, Maria Radloff, had to search for someone who still had the old software in order to convert it to something compatible with what was current software two years ago.

 As technology marches on, it leaves a trail of useless machines and irretrievable data.

How will future historians mine that data?

Or will we all just live in the moment and ignore history until we no longer realize that we are doomed to repeat it?

Quentin, Su Lin and Jack Young in Sichuan, 1934.

Quentin, Su Lin and Jack Young in Sichuan, 1934.

How I became a writer while mopping floors and burning garbage

I dropped out of graduate school in 1977 and took an editing job in Chicago that paid so little that I wound up working evenings and weekends as a janitor at a couple of apartment buildings managed by a Hungarian scamp named John. John would take me with him as he traveled to sketchy neighborhoods to do plumbing and other odd jobs. I started writing stories about my janitorial adventures and published them in The Chicago Reader, Chicago magazine and another magazine that no longer exists. When I quit my job at Phoenix New Times in 2000, I sat down and wrote the first 40,000 words of Speaking English, this time in the first-person, because I realized long ago that if your friends recognize even the slightest similarity between you and a character in your fiction, they assume that everything else in the story is true as well. It kind of satisfied a long-time urge to send out a scandalous and fictitious send-up of those boring and awful end-of-year letters we all get from friends and relatives at Christmastime. I shamelessly peppered it with funny stories told (over and over) by my long-time friend, Bob Peruzzo, whose diction is eerily similar to the character, Pauly.

Here's the first paragraph:

"Back then, you used to worry about getting mugged in that neighborhood. Now you have to worry about getting run down by a $1200 baby stroller pushed by some yuppie hopped up on Starbucks coffee."

I sold the novel, sort of, to an editor at a midtown New York publishing house who backed out when my non-fiction book, Chasing the Panda, didn't make the New York Times Bestseller List. Then another editor in Great Britain wanted it but was moving to a new job and instead referred me to a British agent who asked me to flesh it out, which I did, before he disappeared.  So screw it: I published it myself.

Mike Miner was one of my editors at Chicago Reader, back in the day. Thirty years later he's still there, and here's what he wrote about Speaking English when it came out in 2012:  

http://www.chicagoreader.com/Bleader/archives/2012/04/11/infinite-gestation

speaking english back cover.JPG

Finding Francis

Another Monk's Tale, like its subtitle, came to me accidentally and mystically. My Italian friend, Roberta, was encouraging me to write a book about the Umbria region, where she lives, and an agent in Great Britain thought it might be a good idea. I had my doubts if I could pull off a full-length manuscript with the limited time I had, but I went back to Umbria to at least crank out a few magazine and newspaper travel stories.

One afternoon, as we cruised around the city of Città di Castello, where Roberta lives, I noticed a sign advertising a local sulphur hot springs and spa, and I asked her to pull in. We had actually first met there some years earlier at a dinner function. This time I went to see if I wanted to use the hot springs and maybe get a massage. We toured the spa and then had a coffee in a cafeteria, and there Rob introduced me to the owner, Dr. Pasqui.

The good doctor started talking about his "convento," which I misunderstood as the kind of convent where Catholic nuns live, and when he offered to show it to us, I said yes, though I didn't know what I was about to see.

Dr. Pasqui drove us up a wooded hillside road to a Medieval building at the edge of a cliff. It had been a Franciscan friary, and he had spent the last 20 years converting it into an "albergo," or boutique hotel, and though it was beautifully done, he didn't think it was ready. Rob whispered that people in town thought he was a little crazy for so jealously keeping anyone from staying in his hotel.

Pasqui showed us around the grounds, from the bell tower to the basement. Then he opened a big heavy door and led us down a musty staircase. At the bottom, was a stone bench. I asked if it were a jail cell, and he indignantly replied that it was where "The Saint" slept as he dreamt of receiving the holy stigmata in La Verna, just over the border into Tuscany. In Umbria, "the Saint" can only refer to St. Francis of Assisi.

I touched the bench and got a chill -- and an idea. St. Francis' presence there seemed palpable.

It took a while to figure out the plot, and I borrowed a bit from a dark, dark early 20th Century Spanish novella called Sonata de Otoño, Autumn Sonata, by Ramón del Valle Inclán.  It's main character was the Marqués de Bradomín, whom Valle Inclán described as an old, ugly, Catholic Don Juan. Thus was born Marcos Bradomin, the protagonist of Another Monk's Tale. The portrait above the stairwell and a notable scene that takes place there were lifted from Valle Inclán.  I admit that I also borrowed a conceit from Miguel de Unamuno's short novel, San Manuel Bueno, Mártir.  The rest came out of my twisted imagination, a couple of murders I've covered as a crime reporter and my return trips to Umbria.

Dr. Pasqui's convento.

Dr. Pasqui's convento.